You’d think by my age I would know myself well, have it all figured out, and be sitting with confidence. I’ve got news for you, folks. You are always becoming.
During the labor for my newest grandchild, my two daughters convinced me (we had a lot of time for talking about stuff) that I am a Four, not a Two, on the Enneagram.
I decided to try on the Four for a while. I signed up for EnneaThought for the Day from The Enneagram Institute. The teachings of a Four have been pretty spot on. My mother-in-law told me she had me written down as a Four when we took the test years ago. I’ve always thought I was a Two.
A Two, to be brief, is a person who is seeking out love. She selflessly does things for others hoping to gain love. She usually does so many things for others that she loses herself and doesn’t take care of herself. She’s the one who will deliver a casserole to someone whether or not they asked for it or even need it. I’ve been taking care of three daughters for a long time. Pride is the negative trait of a Two, and I could even relate to that.
Now I’m trying on the Four and it fits better, feels better, is not as stressful as the constant attention on others. A Four is a romantic, often an artist or poet. Fours are commonly introverted and focus on their feelings. They need to get out of their heads and into their bodies. One of the recent posts from EnneaThought resonated with me: “Remember to stay calm. Emotional volatility and moodiness are not the same as real sensitivity. Keep this thought in mind today.”
The words “real sensitivity” stung. Is my care and concern for the way others feel real? Is my moodiness obvious to others? This message made me want to crawl into a shell and sleep on it.
I think it is a positive thing to keep open and discovering who you really are. Enneagram has to do with your most inner spiritual self. From what need do you function from? Do you need safety, love, a sense of accomplishment and success?
People are complicated. I’m not finished yet and don’t think I ever will be. And while I stew on whether or not my sensitivity to others is real, I read today’s thought:
Your key defense mechanisms are introjection, displacement, splitting, turning against the self. Notice if these impulses arise today. ( Understanding the Enneagram, 90) |
EnneaThought® for the Day
Yikes! Maybe I don’t want to know my true self.
Reflections on the Teche 
It is interesting to examine your thoughts, reactions, and motivations in this light. (I’m a five.)
My daughter is a five. She’s so wise and introverted and full of empathy. A good number to be!
Margaret, I have heard you speak about the Enneagram Institute before. I just checked out the website. Is there a fee for the Daily Enneagram Thoughts? I always think of you as one who stays calm; a gentle person with a huge heart who is always reflecting. Have a great day. See you at PF.
There is no fee for the daily thoughts. There is even a few free versions of the enneagram test. Check it out.
Love this, Margaret! I always thought I was a Two, too. Now, I’m convinced I am a Four! Maybe it’s has to do with getting older and reflecting on the time we have left.
I definitely think there’s something to aging. We move more inward, reflective, not doing so much to please others. I’m kind of liking it.
I’m not sure if I want to check this Enneagram stuff out or not, but I definitely enjoyed reading your reflections about it. I also agree with Carol’s description of you.
You should take a look. It kind of explains a lot. I would peg you as a five.
It sounds kind of intimidating! I’ll definitely have to check it out at some point. If only to see what a five is!
Very interesting slice! I did the Enneagram a while back when everyone was talking about it. I’m pretty sure I came out as a four too. Sometimes our daughters know us better than we do!