My friend-cousin-counselor-priest Annie told me to speak up. I was assigned to read the first reading on Pentecost Sunday. It was an important one, the one with all the languages spoken, the tongues of fire, the coming of the Holy Spirit. I needed to speak loud and with confidence into the nave of our historical church.
Under all the weight I am carrying, my voice is fading.
My voice
diminished
by hard things
grief
worry
heavy stuff
losing my way
losing my voice.
Ironically, before she made the comment, I had started a playlist “I Have a Voice” based on the duet by Alicia Keys and Brandi Carlisle. She suggested I add the song “One Voice” by the Wailin’ Jennys.
This beautiful song with a simple, yet strong message: We are not alone.
The message of Pentecost.
Jesus says, “I will not leave you orphaned.” (John 14:18)
Orphan is a lonely word.
As my mother falls deeper into the depths of dementia, I lose
the mother, confidante, nurse, and guiding light
she once was for me. Orphaned slowly.
Annie also told me this is a sacred time, a time when my mother’s hand is still
soft to touch. She still calls my name. She still smiles at the sound
of my voice. I am not alone.
Jesus calls us: “The Spirit of truth abides in you.” (John 14:17)
As my voice fades, Jesus’s spirit rises
to take over, to hold me, to lift my voice
to speak, to say, “I love you”
again and again.
I have a voice.
Reflections on the Teche 