Join the Tuesday Slice of Life
That undeniable feeling of defeat I haven’t been able
to tell anyone about, not in words anyway
despite hearing the advice of my daughter
who studies this kind of thing;
She warns me of the dangers of depression:
don’t let this go on for too long
I can feel it pulse like my eyelids under my fingers
which average 10 blinks a minute varying quite
a bit based on the individual,
and things like medication and nervous disorders.
So am I normal? I listened to the weatherman’s advice.
I trusted the image of storm clouds.
Trust your inner self, says Oprah,
in this month’s O magazine advertising 101 best pieces of advice—
ever! The right words at the right time
will direct my path.
Not today–today the path
is covered in acorns that pop when I step on them.
Pop! Pop! Something satisfying in the act of
stepping on this winter squirrel snack. Hear me
stomping, making rhythm by destroying.
Bake the Best Chocolate Chip Cookie
or How to Have a Conversation: Things I need to know
to be the perfect O-mag reader, but what about
this day when I can’t focus on the words? My eyes
flutter while I hold back the tears.
I am imperfect and annoyed that this is so.
First, get a drink. Seriously, she says that, get a drink.
Something to hold on to when all else fails.
Reflections on the Teche 
I love the imagery! Very profound words.
I missed the parade! I listened to the weatherman. So annoyed at myself!
I think your daughter gave you the best advise…don’t let it go on too long…especially if it is something you have no control over or can’t change. Of course I do like the other bit of advise…get a drink 🙂 Best of luck, I think you will be ok though, you took the first big step and are talking/thinking about it.
Writing the poem was my therapy. Thanks for reading!
Remember that your feelings are real, not imagined is my ‘advice’. I appreciate that you felt like you could share these serious thoughts and see that a magazine isn’t quite the right thing to help. I wish you well, and as Lynn said, don’t let it go on too long. It’s important to find someone to talk to.
I was probably more annoyed than anything and writing the poem helped, as does this writing community where I feel safe. Thanks.
Your honesty is remarkable! Open up to those around you–they know you better than Oprah!
It sounds like you are really trying to figure out the “path” through the murky days of life that we all experience at one time or another. Sometimes, writing helps to sort things but other times, we all need to talk it out with someone who can be a reflective listener. Your daughter, hairdresser, or Oprah all have advice, but I found that someone who is a “trained professional listener” is the best way to sort through some “stuff.”
Writing did help, as did all the responses from my writing community. Thanks for listening (reading).
I’m with Jaana… you share with such honesty. And I read about your passions in life that include 3 daughters and a husband to dance with… you have many who know you better than Oprah! (By the way… get a drink is really miserable advice!) I remember some of your writing I have read in your posts and your book, Blessen, and know you will take your daughter’s advice and not let it go on too long… and you know the Book and the One with the True adviceand share in a faith community. I see the smile in your picture and know you have a zest for life. You will find your way through.
Thanks. I am fine, just a little disappointed, but your support and interest help. I do love this community of writers, too. I know I can safely share the raw feelings along with the joys. Thanks for reading.
Well, if Oprah meant a drink of water, then listen to her. Seriously? She actually said that? Get a drink?
Your writing is so powerful, and raw and honest. “My eyes
flutter while I hold back the tears.
I am imperfect and annoyed that this is so.”
The italics are like the rip tide in the ocean, another layer of depth.
Praying for you for comfort, and for healing.
I used a little poetic license with the advice. The drink was something to hold on to while having a conversation. I guess for people who struggle with that sort of thing. I actually enjoyed crafting the poem using another poet’s form and the Oprah Magazine. The actual feelings are fine. I had a disappointment, nothing terribly serious. Thanks for your comment.