I enjoy learning from other teacher-writers who post on Slice of Life as well as on Poetry Friday. That’s how I met Molly Hogan. She blogs at Nix the Comfort Zone. A few Fridays ago she posted a beautiful original I Am poem. Her ideas for this poem came from poemcrazy by Susan Goldsmith Wooldridge, which is a book I have and value “freeing your life with words.” (Only $3.99 at Abe Books)
When I read Molly’s poem, I decided immediately to use it as a mentor text for my students. We read the poem and noticed so many metaphors. Using colored pens to underline the poetic devices, one of my students said, “This is a very colorful poem,” and she meant that literally.
I am granite grey
plain Jane, sturdy and dependable
but sometimes sunlight shoots across my surface
igniting flecks of mica and quartz
into quick showers of sparkles
here, then gone (Read the rest of the poem here.)
Following our reading and noticing and discussing, I asked my students to turn to a clean page and draw circles. Oh, about 5-7 circles will do. Then we read the poem again. In the first part, she says “I am granite grey.” What is granite grey? A color. Label one circle with color.
As we traveled through the mentor text, we filled in more circles: shape, tree, word, animal, nature, etc. We even made a split circle of inside and out.
During sacred writing time (10 minutes on the Zen Timer app), we filled in the circles with our own ideas and wrote a draft of our own poems.
I know that metaphor is a high-level concept that can take years for younger students to fully grasp, but I dare say that my students got it. Their poems were long and beautiful. Having this amazing mentor text helped greatly. Thanks, Molly, for your inspiration.
Here’s a link to our kidblog site. Please read and leave comments. My students feel such pride when you do. Thanks!
I Am…
I am pink,
chapped and worn,
supple and soft.I stand on the base of a triangle,
stable, reasonable,
striving for perfection.In my mind, I criticize–
a checklist of do’s and don’ts
a chapter of why I can’t be.I am not like the oak
confident in its old age;
I am more of a willow,
seeking, bending in the breeze,
greening in spring.I search for kind
in your eyes,
your song,
your words.I do not hunt like the hawk;
I wait and watch like the heron
stepping carefully through the muck.I am a magnolia blossom
open, fragrant but
easily bruised and brown.Be soft with me.
(draft) Margaret Simon
I love this poem writing exercise! I think I will assign it to myself today.
Beautiful! I especially love the broad journey we see this color take. So easy to visualize. Metaphor continues to intimidate me…I wish I could teleport into your sacred writing time every day!
This is lovely, Margaret! And poemcrazy is probably my favorite poetry exercise book of all time.
Your poem is breathtaking – it has a heartbeat of its own. Looking for the kind in others’ eyes, being the heron vs. the hawk — utterly full of grace and beauty. Owning the sensitivity. And the sacred writing time with a Zen timer app – too good!! I come away from this reading so refreshed …
Thanks for your lovely comment.
Margaret, your post made my day! I’m delighted that you chose to use my poem as a mentor to your students and so impressed by how you structured their work. I can’t wait to read their poems–Your poem is just beautiful. I’m especially drawn to your tree comparisons and your vulnerable ending. I love how your poem is infused with you and the bayou.
I love how we learn from and inspire each other.
Thank you so much for sharing this lesson and your poetry. I love how teachers cross pollinate ideas.
So delicious! I love how you grab things and unleash them in your classroom RIGHT NOW. I read PoemCrazy this summer and it’s still with me. Isn’t it fun how an idea like the “I Am/From” poem can be shot through several successive prisms to create multiple approaches? Can’t wait to read your students’ poems.