Today is my 38th wedding anniversary. Yesterday I was buying a last minute card for my husband, and I told the clerk, “I almost forgot; tomorrow is my 38th wedding anniversary.”
She smiled under her mask and behind plexiglass and said, “That’s so nice.” Something in her voice made me hear her longing for love in her own life.
I replied, “It is nice when you find the right one.”
I’ve been blessed I found him so early in my life. I was not yet 21 when I walked down a long, candlelit aisle knowing with confidence I was doing the best thing I could ever do. And I was so right!
On Sundays we change the sheets. Sometimes he’ll put them back on the bed before I know it, a sweet surprise. And sometimes we make the bed together. I am reminded of this love poem by Li-Young Lee from Behind My Eyes. Li-Young Lee turns this chore into a love song.
to hold :: li-young lee
So we’re dust. In the meantime, my wife and I
make the bed. Holding opposite edges of the sheet,
we raise it, billowing, then pull it tight,
measuring by eye as it falls into alignment
between us. We tug, fold, tuck. And if I’m lucky,
she’ll remember a recent dream and tell me.
One day we’ll lie down and not get up.
One day, all we guard will be surrendered.
Until then, we’ll go on learning to recognize
what we love, and what it takes
to tend what isn’t for our having.
So often, fear has led me
to abandon what I know I must relinquish
in time. But for the moment,
I’ll listen to her dream,
and she to mine, our mutual hearing calling
more and more detail into the light
of a joint and fragile keeping.
Reflections on the Teche 
Oh, my goodness. Happy Anniversary. I wasn’t prepared for the emotion in this poem. Oh, I just want to give it to my husband right now. But, he’s sleeping in. I’ll wait a bit. You are so fortunate to have found your spouse early. I worried I never would–and I did. All that wasted energy. Now, we struggle to find time to be spouses as we work at our jobs and parenting teens/young adults in our small home. But, we manage. And, we change the sheets together. It’s something that I enjoy but never really thought about in this way. Thank you for such a beautiful post.
I remember well the years of raising teens. The hardest years of our life together. Empty nest is wonderful if you stick it out. And grandparenting is the most amazing stage of all!
Happy Anniversary! (My hubs and I celebrate our 31st in June – I was only 22) Thanks for sharing this poem. It gets right to heart of a marriage – the simplicity and profoundness of it, especially these lines:
“But for the moment,
I’ll listen to her dream,
and she to mine”
It’s nice to be listened to and the to listen…and to have someone else put the sheets on the bed.
Toasting you and your hubs – *cheers!*
Happy anniversary, Margaret! Our 38th is next week. I love the poem and its celebration of everyday shared tasks. And that’s what makes up a good marriage – years and years of tasks shared in love. Have a wonderful day!
Oh, Margaret – the aching loveliness of the poem “To Hold.” I will save it to read again and again. “A joint and fragile keeping…”
Happy Anniversary! And: mine is Monday! You and your husband have been married only three years longer than my husband and I. A bride at twenty, I was. My children say that is way too young. It only means we are young, still. 🙂
Happy anniversary. I gave a copy of the poem to my husband. I often wonder how I was so smart at such a young age.
Happy Anniversary, Margaret. I’m happy for you and your family, treasuring those little things that count the most. The poem is lovely.
Li-Young Lee is such a beautiful and tender poet. Happy Anniversary!
Happy anniversary! Our 29th is coming up. I like the way this poem shines a light on a small moment of companionship.
Happy Anniversary! We hit the 30 years together (not all of those official years of marriage, but they still count) at the end of July. Luckily, we had celebrated early so my “blip” didn’t spoil anything…just reminded us of “in sickness and in health.” Three decades is hefty, so it’s good to remember that the whole endeavor is also fragile. Especially as we age…
I haven’t seen that poem before. What a great metaphor. Hope you had a happy anniversary! We have one coming up this week too.
Ruth, thereisnosuchthingasagodforsakentown.blogspot.com
Happy Anniversary to both you and your husband! Thank you for this beautiful poem. My wife and I enjoy doing things like making the bed together, though it’s sometimes a “whoever got out last” sort of thing. It’s funny, though, because we too will oftentimes make it for the other person as a show of love. It’s funny how relationships can work that way.
Margaret, Happy 38th Anniversary & congratulations! My husband and I celebrated our 26th in July. We didn’t find each other until I was 29 and he was 25. This poem gives me many emotions. The line that sticks in my head is “One day we’ll lie down and not get up.” I haven’t thought about this too much, yet. I love how he takes a simple task and shows the reader the profound love of marriage. Beautiful!
Beautiful and tender poem Margaret, thanks for sharing it. Happy Anniversary to you and your husband! My husband and I had our 35th in June- perhaps sometime it’ll be safe to take a traveling trip again…
Margaret, I was so touched by your back story and the beautiful poem that you shared. I saved the poem, read it out loud to my husband since it was our anniversary at the end of July, and now came to reread it again. It is quiet now and how I cherish the stillness of the morning. May your summer days continue to flow with love.
Happy anniversary, Margaret! I don’t know how I missed you in the round-up. This is so beautiful. Stunning, really. I was 21 when I married Randy, and I’m grateful to have found him young, as well. We have to savor every moment. XO
Margaret, this poem is so beautiful and deeply moving. I read it on Friday and needed to wait before commenting. I find that I still don’t have the words. “One day all we guard will be surrendered.” Oh.
On a side note, I once wrote my husband a poem called “Love Letter” that was about how him making the bed for me is like a love letter.
Thank you so much for sharing this poem and Happy Anniversary!