This week Ruth invites us to write about rituals. As I sit at my computer on Boxing Day, I realize that rituals change. And change they must. In fact, I’ve had to understand that a ritual for me may or may not be one for my family. Accepting the change is my mantra for this holiday season.
Speaking of the lack of church-going in my pandemic life, I said to my daughter, “I’ll be spiritual again in 2021.”
She responded, “Oh, you are still spiritual. It’s just the ritual that you’ve taken a break from.”
She’s right, of course. But I feel the ritual of church, especially singing carols with the choir on Christmas Eve, fed my spiritual life, and without that food, I’m going through the motions of Christmas. My advent candles sit on my kitchen table having never been lit. I wonder at the long term effects of this ritual loss.
I totally forgot about Christmas dinner. Who forgets Christmas dinner? I realized after a text from my sister-in-law that we would have a visit, masked and on the porch with open doors, but no meal. Yikes! We ran to a nearby place that has frozen foods and stocked up 10 minutes before they closed on Christmas Eve. Emergency averted. That meal was the easiest Christmas dinner ever. Maybe a new tradition was born?
As I reflect on Christmas, 2020, I have so many things to be grateful for, beginning with a negative Covid test, so I was comfortable being around my grandchildren. The joys of children at any time of the year, but especially at Christmas, cannot be overrated. Leo, 2 years, was amazed by every “pwesent”, and Thomas, 15 months, wanted to taste every goodie. “Pease!” with the sign for More caved me every time. And even though I cannot physically hold baby Stella, I can watch her from across the room melt onto my daughter’s shoulder. So many blessings. New rituals. Always hope!
Reflections on the Teche 
ahhh… I echo how I missed the gathering, singing at church…hard, hard, hard for me…I’ve also struggled with not being able to be with grand live…our kids and grands all live out of state…they have been able to all see inlaws, so I felt the rising of ugly jealousy too. I’m glad your test was negative and you got to see your darlings… Zoom will also become a new tradition for us too…keeping my account even after vaccines are available, because we still can’t meet at church for studies…I’m so tired feeling. XO
I’m so glad you shared your thoughts here. When writing about that prompt, I was also wondering what rituals I value that aren’t as significant to my family. I’ve often found myself wondering what lasting cultural changes will linger from this whole experience. On another note, I just got your Christmas card and was touched by all the family joy in your life. So lovely!
Beautiful family! Although it was different, I hope you had a merry Christmas!
What beautiful grandchildren! How wonderful you could see them!
And when you spoke about not going to church during the pandemic, I really connected with you. It was a “it isn’t just me” feeling.
I, too, miss the physical gathering of my church family, snuggled into my familiar pew. However, a few months before the pandemic hit, our church had started streaming our services so the large number of members (mostly residing in our local retirement communities) could worship if they physically couldn’t leave their homes.
My own child, battling stage 4 brain cancer, lives a state away, and she found great joy in being “in church.” This year, we sat side-by-side on her couch and worshipped with our church family via YouTube. While it wasn’t the same, we both felt a deep connection to the message – the music – the advent. In the midst of a pandemic, it was a gift.
I am so sorry for the illness of your child, yet grateful that streaming is available and comforting. I do watch services that are streamed, but it’s not the same. And in a way, I am actually saddened more when I tune in to them. Thanks for leaving a comment. Prayers for your child.
Hi, I will say prayers for your daughter and you.
Margaret, I agree with your daughter that you are always spiritual. I’m happy for you that you could spend time with your grandchildren! Thanks for sharing their precious faces. Our Christmas and New years ritual is different this year, also. The four of us usually go to Massena, NY, a three and half hour drive near the Canadian border to spend after Christmas with Craig’s family. I’m so miss seeing my nephew’s smiling faces, who are 15, 13, and 12. (Thankfully, we were able to see them this summer!) Craig and I are thankful both of our daughter’s were able to come home for Christmas and we continued with our ritual of eating homemade pasta, though we didn’t make it this year, a restaurant did. We are also thankful we were all healthy. I agree maybe an easy Christmas dinner is a good new tradition. Happy New and Healthy New Year. I actually started a new ritual by writing a poem to include in all my Christmas cards. It made me feel happy and I hope it made others happy.
Gail, thanks for your message. I love the idea of sending a poem in your Christmas card. I want to write a haiku each month to create a calendar next year. Happy New Year!
No matter what, reading about family and seeing photos of children makes the heart warm. Wishing health and happiness to you and your family!
This is lovely. I like the cadence of these words and sentences. There is a rhythm and it reminds me of the way rituals often weave inside our hearts and are part of us, even when we are away. Merry Christmas.
xo,
ruth