Dropping a smoothie sent me over the edge.
I was trying too hard to hold it all, and the weight shifted.
Everything fell out of arms and undid me.
Return to Presence, my Enneathought of the Day says,
but a return to presence meant I needed to start over.Give me a task, a group of fourth graders to watch over.
I can count to ten, but I can’t climb down from the bleachers.
I can sit on the floor with them to eat lunch, but I can’t
get back up. Know thyself.
Be true to who you are.
A body that is running on fumes of a school year.
A plate that is toppling, balanced on a single finger.Among the smiles of graduates on Facebook,
Margaret Simon, flash draft because I’ve been too busy to spend any time on crafting a poem.
I found a poem, a gift of Mary Oliver
whose wisdom buoys me,
“How two hands touch and the bonds will
never be broken.
How people come, from delight or the
scars of damage,
to the comfort of a poem.”
Comfort me, oh poem.
Be with me, in me, over me.
Help me walk back into school today
another day in May.
May as a teacher is the hardest month of the year. Emotions are heightened. We are trying to squeeze in field trips, fun day/water day, ceremonies, awards, grades, and all the other seemingly endless paper work. It’s overwhelming. I didn’t have a poem ready for today, so I just did what I do best, open the blank blog post and write straight from my gut. This stress will be over soon, and I will settle into the relaxing days of summer. But today, there is much to do and little time to get it done. I’m sure you know what I mean. All my best to all the teachers out there just trying to make it to the end still smiling, still loving their job, and still being their best selves.
Reflections on the Teche 
Your poem is spot on, Margaret. The end of the school year can be so stressful for many reasons. But there is always joy, too, and I know you can find it. Those relaxing days of summer are just around the corner.
I totally get this, Margaret. Are you also retiring? There is that emotional, psychological ending as well as the endings of all that goes on in school, with friends, the wonderings, the busyness of all that is needed and expected. Enough to push anyone off the edge, I know, I lived it for over 40 years. And I was so not ready to retire when I did as far as the kids and teaching, but…..the system, the changes (constant) were hard to handle especially the demands of CCLS on the Horizon, RTTT (Race Top) etc. And poetry, always poetry in my heart for kids and for me. Then there is our family life, and finally ourselves!!! Buoy yourself in the fact you know you have done it before, it is the climb that is hard, but the view at the top is magnificent as are you, my friend. Much love as you balance out these end days. PS I still wonder how I ever had time to teach, just saying I am so busy now, and stressed at times, but it is nice to have the freedom to spend time doing things I love a lot.
I’m not retiring. Five more years. There is still joy. It’s just been a busy rough week.
Oh lucky kiddos. I think the spilled smoothie pushed me over the edge. I still marvel at all you do and still have “a day job”! Always the joy. I have some recent joyful stories of former students who are older 40s 50s etc and the bonds we still have. (It helps I live in a small town and taught for decades.) Tough weeks fade, right. And your students are treasure which helps you/us move along. And then there is love. I admire you!
Ah “Know thyself” yet still reach, and your poem does both, an avalanche of lovely words like the waterfall flowing exhibit. Enjoy your forthcoming break, thanks!
Teaching friends and colleagues have shared similar experiences, Margaret. Your best is heartfelt and important to have shared. Your beautiful poem and your words remind me of something I learned from my son when he was quite young, and I’d mistakenly bought into a framework for young ones learning instruments that I came to regret; one day at practice I said, “it seems like you are not doing your best today.” He replied, “Mama, my best is not the same every day.” I’ve never forgotten it.
This resonates with so many teachers and school workers. I like the term:flash draft.
I’m amazed how much you do, other teachers too, here on Poetry Friday. I love the experiences you share in your poem, like getting up from the floor, which made me smile. I’m grateful that you take the time to share poems from your busy life. Thank you!
Amen and amen. Hard days of a lot of emotion. Not enough time. I don’t want compliments for teaching I want help. I want there to be enough staff, enough counseling, caring adults relaxed and time to do what needs to be done to do right and well by our students.
Oh gosh, Margaret! The photo of those kids fooling around at this gallery is precious! I love the idea of flash poetry, the freedom from perfection. Raw, unedited, honest. I hope you are able to grab moments for deep breaths as you careen toward the school year end.
Margaret now is the time of the year when teachers need a refresher. “A body that is running on fumes of a school year.” Your flash draft gives you the opportunity to brighten your smile and jump back into the swing of school. Vacation is not that many steps away.
It’s a challenging time of year, for sure. You’ve managed to capture it all. Sending you strength!
I wish those who are shouting out about teachers in the political arena could read what you wrote, Margaret, & try to understand how teachers give & give, & in May, give more! Best wishes for these final days!
“running on fumes of a school year” … my husband taught for 35 years and this rings so true, Margaret. It’s an overwhelming time, for sure. I’m so glad you wrote from the gut! So many can relate.