My friend-cousin-counselor-priest Annie told me to speak up. I was assigned to read the first reading on Pentecost Sunday. It was an important one, the one with all the languages spoken, the tongues of fire, the coming of the Holy Spirit. I needed to speak loud and with confidence into the nave of our historical church.
Under all the weight I am carrying, my voice is fading.
My voice
diminished
by hard things
grief
worry
heavy stuff
losing my way
losing my voice.
Ironically, before she made the comment, I had started a playlist “I Have a Voice” based on the duet by Alicia Keys and Brandi Carlisle. She suggested I add the song “One Voice” by the Wailin’ Jennys.
This beautiful song with a simple, yet strong message: We are not alone.
The message of Pentecost.
Jesus says, “I will not leave you orphaned.” (John 14:18)
Orphan is a lonely word.
As my mother falls deeper into the depths of dementia, I lose
the mother, confidante, nurse, and guiding light
she once was for me. Orphaned slowly.
Annie also told me this is a sacred time, a time when my mother’s hand is still
soft to touch. She still calls my name. She still smiles at the sound
of my voice. I am not alone.
Jesus calls us: “The Spirit of truth abides in you.” (John 14:17)
As my voice fades, Jesus’s spirit rises
to take over, to hold me, to lift my voice
to speak, to say, “I love you”
again and again.
I have a voice.
Reflections on the Teche 
Simply beautiful, Margaret. As they say in my professional circles, “That’ll preach!”
Brava! Brava! What a heartfelt submission today. So many examples of what church is or could be: encouragement, hope through trials, meaning through the liturgy; A church that is a building, and yet so much more than a building.
Margaret, This post is absolutely lovely. Thank you for sharing it with me. Praying for you and your mother. Gayle
Margaret: Thank you for this poignant and faithful post. My heart goes out to you. I have experienced loss of voice when emotions overtake me. I am so thankful you could express your thoughts and feelings in writing. And thankful we are never alone.
Margaret, your poems are so touching, honest, and full of emotions. I understand how sad you must be. I remember the years leading up to my mother’s final hours.“I will not leave you orphaned,” is a thought that is soothing amidst the chaos and mixed emotions. You have a voice. Your words illustrate the reality of your situation and the strength and perseverance you will muster up to deal with life.
What a blessing to have a friend in Annie, who is there to remind you of the wellspring of strength found in our faith, to draw from in times of need. We tend to think of “having a voice” as righteous fighting words, in a sense, but your post reminds us that having a voice can also be the opportunity to say “I love you.”
This is lovely and affirming. Thank you.
What a real, raw reflection of who we are, Margaret…we are our voices; we are what others hear. And it takes courage to lift our voice, especially when we feel alone. I love that your mother responds to your voice still. I hope that brings you comfort.