Have you ever loved a dog? Or the more important question, has a dog ever loved you? Dogs tend to love without any conditions. Of course, they want their treats. Charlie would almost hyperventilate when it was pill pocket time. And how did he know to tell time? 6:00 AM and 6:00 PM, he would start with the begging.
“Lord, help me be the person my dog thinks I am.” I bought this bumper sticker years ago and taped it on the utility room cabinet. Charlie thought I was delicious. He wasn’t a face licker, but show him your bare toes and he would lick till it tickled.
Strangers were new friends to Charlie. The repairmen that visit our house look for Charlie so they can toss him the tennis ball. He would play ball 24/7 if you let him.
Charlie loved a walk. Sometimes he would get out, and the way I coaxed him back was showing him the leash and saying, “Petey’s here!” Petey was my mother-in-law’s dog and we walked together for years after my father-in-law died. These walks made Petey and Charlie best friends, and Anne “Minga” and I grew closer, too.
This week is Ethical ELA’s Open Write. When I read the invitation to write about food from Stacey Joy, I thought of the cinnamon bread my neighbor (and fellow dog lover) left at my back door. Another neighbor who I walk with these days, Shirley and her lab Claire, made me oatmeal cookies. If you’ve had a dog, you can relate to the empty feeling. When I get up in the morning, I go to the back door, turn the lock, and look for Charlie. He’s not there.
Charlie lived a wonderful life. We got him in the fall of 2007 and named him one of our boy names, after my grandfather Charles Liles. It was the perfect name. He was the perfect dog. I miss him, but I have no regrets. He was 16 and in renal and heart failure. He gave me the look that said, “Let me go.” I will sprinkle his ashes in the butterfly garden.
Cinnamon Bread
Lisa brought me cinnamon bread
when my dog Charlie died.
Shirley made oatmeal cookies
as though sweet carbs could fill
me, help me forget the lonely
walk without holding a leash,
opening the door without the wag of tail.
Can I take a taste inside
to keep sadness away?
Can I drop a crumb and not look
down for the dog to lick it up?
There are days he lived only to comfort me.
Little ankle licks to let me know I was loved.
Familiar becomes foreign
until time adjusts us,
keeps us upright
ready to be crushed again.
Margaret Simon (dedicated to Charlie Dog Simon)
Reflections on the Teche 
I was terrified of dogs as a child, and won’t bother here with the odd way that was handled…My own family pup, Butterscotch, became everyone’s love…When she died, the vet wrote a card that was in Butterscotch’s voice: “Do not cry for me…I did was I was meant to do—love you all unconditionally and enjoy your sweet and gentle care.” We miss her to this day.
Margaret, peace to you as you will still miss Charlie, I can see opening the door looking for him and he’s not there. Sixteen years of habit will not be easy to change. But I so love the appreciation and love in your words here in this post and poem. “I miss him, but I have no regrets.” Perfect.
I love how you connected food with your dog memories. Lovely trubute to Charlie. So glad you added a photo so I could see how cute he was.
Margaret, Charlie reminds me so much of my Boo Radley, only Boo is gray and white. Their faces are so expressive, so similar. I’m deeply sorry for your loss. Our schnoodles are our babies, and I think it is so sweet that his ashes will live on in the garden where you spend so much time. He will be in the breeze, in the flowers, in the leaves on the trees – – reminding you of all the beauty of this world. There is still much.
I love how the gift of cinnamon bread gave you the entrance to writing about your loss. Somehow this passage really got to me: Can I drop a crumb and not look
down for the dog to lick it up?
And your last line:
Keeps us upright
Ready to be crushed again-
Killer. “It is better to have loved and lost…” and with pets we do it over and over. Lovely piece.
It is not quite right to “like” a poem/post about loss. But your poem interrupted my busy day and made me pay attention to what is important. Thank you! My favorite line: There are days he lived only to comfort me – rang out so true. And Charlie?
We are watching you run in the green fields of heaven until you and Margaret meet again faithful friend!
[…] in September. He was 16 years old. He had been the best dog ever. And we’ve had our share. Charlie was a mix of schnauzer and poodle, a schnoodle. One thing we knew for sure is that we wanted a […]