Last Saturday I attended a silent retreat at Jefferson Island. I wrote about the retreat here. This photo is an ancient doorway to nowhere. It is set in the gardens near an old wishing well. There is not much need for context today. Meander in your mind and find this doorway. Where does it lead you? Is it a place of rest? Is it a challenge to pass through? Is it guarded, or left open?
I recently came upon a new to me form called a luc bat.
The luc bat is a Vietnamese poetic form that means “six-eight.” In fact, the poem consists of alternating lines of six and eight syllables. This poem is interesting in its rhyme scheme that renews at the end of every eight-syllable line and rhymes on the sixth syllable of both lines. You can find a graphic on the Writer’s Digest. My own model draft took longer than usual to write. Rhymezone is my friend.
Retreat Door
Today I release need–
Margaret Simon, draft
Unmet purpose to feed my worth.
This ancient door will birth
new sight into our earth’s strong care.
Inner eyes long to share
wisdom carried from there to here.
Look in my new seer,
a vision that is clear and pure.
Reflections on the Teche 
You did a remarkable job with the form, Margaret. I was drawn to the idea of the door allowing a new vision.
open a door
let sunshine pour
while you explore the depths
of the heart
That is certainly true of my silent retreat (“explore the depths of the heart.”
Love all of the “door” rhymes as well as the message here, Rose.
Rose, I love the image of an open door letting sunshine pour into the depths of a heart! I see and feel the light. Great poem. I love the sounds of the rhymes.
Rose, lovely. “let sunshine pour / while you explore the depths” Wow!
What a complicated form, Margaret, that you have executed so well! I especially like “feed my worth,” but the whole poem flows together beautifully. I haven’t piped up but have greatly appreciated your posts and others’ comments from the last couple of weeks. They are calming and renewing. From today’s photo:
Every step is a threshold
Into a new place,
New time,
New you.
Come,
Step.
Jane Heitman Healy, draft
Jane, this is beautiful. Your first line hooked me. I love how you start off with a metaphor that has three short e sounds. I like how the effect of shortening your lines makes your invitation-your last two lines grab the reader’s attention.
Jane, it seems like you have captured the beauty of Margaret’s silent retreat. I love “new you / Come, step” There is so much hope and newness in your poem.
This poem looks like it feels, step into peace.
Margaret, that photo is so intriguing. I want an ancient door to nowhere to go through. I tried a Luc Bat this morning too.
Ancient door opens play
into the bamboo stay in green
come in go out to glean
the riches of this scene update
your thoughts and hopes create
new ways to celebrate this gift
quiet retreat to lift our souls
I want to share this with my students as another model. Well played. I love “hopes create/ new ways to celebrate…”
Such a happy poem.
I’m delighted you want to share it with your students. I like your new avatar too.
[…] follow the link for a description of the form. Margaret Simon offered it on her post this week for This Photo Wants to be a Poem: Ancient Door. I didn’t have a chance to share it there, hence I’m sharing it this week for Poetry […]
[…] « This Photo Wants to be a Poem: Ancient Door […]
The bat luc poem is a wonder-filled attempt to dig deep and bring a sense of calm to the printed page. Kudos to you Margaret for sharing this intricate puzzle-like poem with all of us. Bravo to each one of you (Rose, Jane, Gail, Denise, & Michelle) who amplified your thoughts.
[…] I wrote a short luc bat for this week’s This Photo Wants to be a Poem. I also tried the form on a previous Photo post here: Ancient Door. […]