Hello, March! If I’ve counted right, this is my eleventh year to participate in the Slice of Life Challenge hosted by Two Writing Teachers. I’ve challenged myself to write a post every day in March. I will also write every day in April because that’s National Poetry Month. I’ve learned that a daily writing practice enriches my life, connects me with others, and makes me a better writer. Thanks to all my readers. You inspire and encourage me.
Today I’m the challenger of my writing group, the Inklings. We each take a turn at creating a prompt for the first Friday of each month. I asked my friends Molly Hogan, Mary Lee Hahn, Catherine Flynn, Linda Mitchell, and Heidi Mordhorst to write persona poems. Persona poems are written in a different voice. The author can speak through an object, another person, an emotion, etc.
I attended a workshop led by Babalwa Tetyana (link is to the YouTube recording) sponsored by Narrative 4. She guided us to write persona poems. I chose to write from the perspective of a portrait of myself at age 12. I sent my draft to the Inklings. They were confused about who the speaker was. Me or me? Yes, it was me. Tricky.
I decided maybe a form could contain the poem and make the emotions clearer. A nod to Irene Latham’s Poetry Friday’s post last week; she wrote a double tricube. Here’s my rewrite.
My Portrait Speaks
I look out
behind glass,
12 year oldintense eyes
watch you
avoid my glance.Your child-self
grieves with you–
penciled linestrace my face.
Dear innocent
insecure soul,look my way.
I hold love
in my eyes.I’m your source
Margaret Simon, draft
a savior sent
behind glass.
Reflections on the Teche 
WOW! That re-write is amazing…the tricube worked perfectly for what you want the reader to know. Love it. Golden lines? “trace my face,” “Dear innocent.” “I am your source.” Beautifully written. You make me want to give tricube another try.
You paint, in black and white, the feel of that innocent and insecure 12 year old. As always, powerful use of owrds.
Agreed–beautiful, skilled revision! And I love the contrast of the hard glass surface holding all the softness of /s/ sounds: glass, glance, intense, self, pencil, trace, face, innocent, insecure soul, source, savior. Brava!
Margaret, the eyes of your twelve year old self behind the glass are indeed intense, taking in the world and noticing things. I wonder what it must have been like to be your twelve year old Margaret Simon self when every girl that age was reading about Margaret. Your poem is captivating, your portrait stunning. You give me ideas to write about my silhouette I got at Disney World one year when those were all the rage. Lovely, as always!
I was such an awkward 12 year old. I hated my hair. That’s a topic for another post. You should try a persona poem from your silhouette.
Dear innocent… what a beautiful poem and a treasure of a drawing. xo
What a lovely portrait and an equally lovely poem -“penciled lines trace my face” – sigh!
Now, from reading this, I know how you became such a wonderful teacher, Margaret, from having empathy for self and all those you teach. I love your art, too, looks quite accomplished from 12-year-old you!
Self portrait is wrong. I did not draw it. I remember sitting for it. My dad had it done as a surprise gift for my mother.
Oops, I misread your post, sorry! It is a lovely portrait, no matter who!
I stuggle with POV. Your poem is so helpful. You became the portrait so of course, the opening lines are: “ooking out, behind glass.” Lovely poem and lovely modeling of how to write from as different POV.
I would never have thought of writing from this point of view – and I love it. I am also interested in the tricube, now – and you just introduced me to the elfchen. My goodness! I have a lot to thank you for!
Margaret, wow, is Elizabeth Wolfe someone you knew who captured this sweet girl in the portrait? I can see you in this 12-year-old girl. I didn’t read your first poem, but I love the rewrite. There is no doubt who the speaker is here. So powerful. I can see the “intense eyes” watching, yet “avoid my glance.” You have captured those 12-year-old insecurities.
I love the idea of writing to one’s younger self, or from that point of view, knowing what one knows now. This persona poem is captivating – the intensity, yet the insecurity – and that portrait of young you, exquisite. As always – you share so much for us to try!
This is such a powerful revision, Margaret! I love the generosity of spirit and acceptance of 12 year old you, and how the child seems to take on the voice of the adult.
BRILLIANT revision! I hope you’ll listen to your 12 year-old self and let her help you carry your heart’s burdens. She loves you so much.
That is exactly what my yogini told me. Listen to your child and love her well.
Intriguing portrait and poem, with a powerful ending stanza–A full well ready to dip into… thanks for sharing all!
So much wisdom behind the glass and the eyes. Giving ourselves grace at every age and stage is vital…even retroactively.
Margaret, such a lovely poem written to self
Dear innocent
insecure soul
Your ending lines are an eye-opener.