I teach gifted kids in two elementary schools. A friend of mine sent me a message on Instagram to follow “the gifted perspective.” I could immediately connect to the posts. Especially when she defined perfectionism. “Gifted individuals have a level of self-introspection. Maybe they’re hyper aware of their knowledge, or of their learning, or of their differences between them and others. This can lead to perfectionism.”
My 2nd grade student is usually so excited to learn something new. I went to a workshop a few weeks ago at our arts council and was gifted a bag of supplies and a lesson plan on landscapes. I pulled up a landscape painting onto the smart board and started asking him questions about it.
I’m not sure when things fell apart, but he had a hard time identifying things in the painting that I had assumed he would know, animals, foreground, background, landforms, plow. The more questions I asked, the more shut down he became. Then I asked him to write a few sentences to describe the painting. He froze.
I thought to myself that surely he knew how to write a few sentences. Where was the breakdown? Did I even look at the grade level suggestion for this lesson?
Perspective helps. As I’ve processed this exchange, I’ve realized I was battling against a perfectionism wall. I managed to realize this before he melted into tears. I said, “Relax. This is just for you in your journal. It doesn’t have to be perfect.” We had a little more success with the second painting. And I didn’t ask him to write.
Perfectionism Elfchen
Writing
Margaret Simon, daily elfchen
is hard
when you’re seven
try too hard to please
Teacher
Reflections on the Teche 
You were wise to read this young student and adjust your teaching. Kids do work too hard to please teachers. We have to find ways to change this.
Youe slice is a reminder that writing is hard…for so many reasons. You also remind me to include works of art into my lessons. Thanks for including the image.
Oh! I feel this child’s frustration. You’ve given a wonderful explanation of the way in which perfectionism can lead to frustration – and you’ve offered a gentle way out for teachers who find they’ve accidentally let a student fall into that trap. Plus an elfchen! I can see how these can become a habit. Maybe April will be an elfchen month for me…
Hi, Margaret! I can totally relate to this post. You handled it do well. I want so lucky in the past when one of my third grade writer’s circle students )also gifted) ended up in tears while being asked to write about superstitions. I could relate to him as well. I’ve been fighting perfectionism my whole life. He’s lucky to have you as a teacher!
Good Job helping this student. The language between painting/art and text is often a new step for students. I have found it is best with any student to go back to the basics with art – What do you see? What makes you say that? What does it remind you of? Once through that conversation you can reach for more detail and introduce the art concepts of foreground, back ground, etc – both you and the student know how to relate to what you are viewing together. It gives them more language to write with as well. It is a fun processes and I have used it often. Thanks for sharing this – I loved what you did and loved that this reminded me of how I loved to introduce art to kids. Thanks for posting.
Margaret, I adore the elfchen form. Your short form says so much, so powerfully. I wish every student had a teacher so intuitive and able to push pause and adjust the sails. You did that masterfully, and what a gift.
Margaret, kids are under so much pressure these days. I have seen perfectionism rise in such young ones…I think it’s born of anxiety, spawned by myriad factors. Your insight and timely words were the saving grace here for that student – and I am a huge fan of elfchen now, because of you!
So many students seem to struggle with this idea of perfectionism. I have had students who erase and erase to get it so perfect, that they tear the paper and then have a melt down. Thankfully, your little 2nd grader had you to know when to intervene. I am loving your elfchens, too!
Margaret, I hope your second grader can enjoy the next lesson and let go of his perfectionism a bit. Good call to let him keep his thoughts to himself. No need to be perfect for this teacher.
I’m so glad you were able to recognize the problem, adjust on the fly, and offer the student a different way to be successful. Well done!