When I was having children, I never really considered the future and what it might mean for me to be a grandmother. I had three girls. Three daughters who grew into three amazing women. And now I am Mamére to four grands and another one on the way. My youngest daughter is pregnant with her 2nd child. She has a 2 year old, June, and this one is a boy due in July. We’ve had fun calling him “July.”
Pregnancy is not an easy time. There are so many changes happening in a woman’s body. After an earlier miscarriage, Martha was full of fear. I was confident, but I understood her fears. She invited me to the 20 week anatomy scan ultrasound. I sat in awe at the image on the screen…a perfect baby.
Here is my love letter to this new baby boy:
July
I already love all four chambers
of your heart, steadily beating
showing off for the camera.
And those little toe nubs that I can’t wait to tickle.
We could see the perfect stairs
of your spine curled,
floating up in the certain space
of womb. I fell head over heals
for your tiny nose, the deep eye sockets,
the thing that tells us you are boy.I can wait as you grow
and grow, coming to us
on a hot mid-July morning
wailing for more time
inside. It’s OK, my grandboy,
I love you already.
Margaret Simon, draft
On Sunday I read Maria Popover’s The Marginalian. She wrote about matrescence: “While mothering can take many forms and can be done by many different kinds of people, the process of one organism generating another from the raw materials of its own being — a process known as matrescence — is as invariable as breathing, as inevitable to life as death.”
In Matrescence: On Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Motherhood, Lucy Jones writes of her own experience giving birth to a girl.
“Time started to bend. I was carrying the future inside me. I would learn that I was also carrying the eggs, already within my baby’s womb, that could go on to partly form my potential grandchildren. My future grandchildren were in some way inside me, just as part of me spent time in the womb of my grandmother.”
I am grateful to be a grandmother, the seed from which my grandchildren sprouted. Honored by my daughters to be beside them as they do their best to be strong women who mother with wisdom and care.
Reflections on the Teche 
I thought of you when I read that article! It was so fascinating. I promptly sent it to a friend who is the grandmother of new twins, suggesting that she read it and share bits with her (completely overwhelmed) daughter as she saw fit.
I shared it with Martha. She was interested in how our culture needs to be better to women. And how the mind changes in pregnancy and motherhood.
Love all of this, Margaret. And good luck to this little boy in a bevy of women! He is going to be one loved little person! He already is!
Your poem touched my heart in so many ways.You write so beautifully. I did the same thing and wrote letter poems to each of my two grandchildren. It’s an amazing thing to watch our children become parents. xo
Oh, I love your poem to July. Back in the day, I did not think much about carrying a baby except for being and eating healthy. Now I wonder what philosophical thoughts I might have about carrying the future. 🙂
I think when I was pregnant I was the same. Focused on being healthy. Being a grandmother has changed my perspective.
What a beautiful post and love letter to your growing grandson-to-be. I just became a first time grandma, and it is as amazing as everyone says it is! My daughter gave birth in January, and it has changed all of our lives for the better. I had also written Noah a letter before he was born, promising our unconditional support and love.
Congrats on the new little one on the way. I also read Maria’s article. Amazing thoughts. Thanks for writing.
Your story and your poem capture the miracle creation of life that will shape the future. It is the greatest of gifts to share that miracle with your future miracles
Prayers of health and happiness for your daughter and for “July.” Congratulations, Mamere. What a beautiful poem!
Margaret, first of all – congratulations! What an exciting time for you! I am thrilled that you got to go to the ultrasound and wrote this sweet, sweet poem for your July grandson. It is fascinating to think that we were carried in some way by our grandmothers, who carried the egg who carried the next egg.