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The Habit of Play

Posted in Slice of Life, tagged 8 Habits of Love, art, Creativity, Ed Bacon, play on July 16, 2013| 7 Comments »

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Children have an exquisite capacity to play, to imagine, to create stories, to connect with nature, art, and ritual. When children move into an imaginative space in their minds and spirits, a world of possibility and promise opens up for everyone. –Ed Bacon

This summer I have been responding to Ed Bacon’s book 8 Habits of Love. The 5th chapter is what I’ve been waiting for, the Habit of Play. What a boring world this would be without play!

This week I coordinated an art camp for kids. Each day we made something new. Rainsticks, cardboard self-portraits, and wood sculptures. We read The Dot by Peter Reynolds and made our unique dots. This was the 6th year for our art camp, and I finally had the brilliant idea to make a “Free Time Activity Box.” One little girl built a park scene using pink paper, pink tape, some wood scraps, sequins, etc. We put a sign next to it, “Do not touch.” It stayed up all week. Finally we transferred the scene to a scrap piece of foam board. I was fascinated to watch her play.

A sense of Play is essential to happiness and a feeling of safety in this world. Ed Bacon speaks of the difference between childlikeness and childishness. “Childlikeness makes room for everyone to play.”

Recently a friend of mine, a colleague and young mother, died in her sleep at 41 leaving three young children. As you can imagine, there were feelings of sadness,confusion,and helplessness. Following the service, I watched as my priest lifted up her 3-year-old son. He smiled and bounced the boy up and down. “I love you. We sure had fun today, didn’t we?” A sense of play in the midst of so much sorrow helped me see the hope that lives in love.

Love always wins. When we allow love to be in our nature, Play helps us relax and see the beauty in God’s gift of childlikeness to us all.

Instructions for Play

Leap in the green grass meadow.
Blow bubbles into the wind.
Twirl a girl in a swirling dress.
Open up the blossom of a flower.
Wave to everyone you see.
Smile, it’s always contagious.
Run through the sprinkler.
Climb a tree.
Make a bird out of an egg carton.
Create a space ship from a paper towel tube.
Laugh, giggle, belly guffaw.
Spend time with someone you love.
Praise the creator of Play.
–Margaret Simon, all rights reserved

When we invite Play in to all areas of our lives, we turn away from our fearful natures and invite the loving self to reengage with the world and with the parts of our brains that imagine and create. –Ed Bacon

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The Habit of Candor

Posted in Slice of Life, tagged 8 Habits of Love, Candor, Ed Bacon on July 9, 2013| 7 Comments »

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Practice

Not the high mountain monastery

I had hoped for, the real

face of my spiritual practice

is this:

the sweat that pearls on my cheek

when I tell you the truth
–Kim Rosen

Candor (from Merriam-Webster)

whiteness, brilliance
obsolete : unstained purity
freedom from prejudice or malice : fairness
kindliness
unreserved, honest, or sincere expression : forthrightness

During the first few weeks of summer, I started writing about Ed Bacon’s 8 Habits of Love. I wrote responses to the first three chapters, Generosity, Stillness, and Truth. Then came Candor. I got squirmy, uncomfortable, and avoided responding to the chapter. I am really not in a better place for responding to this today as I was, but a fellow blogger prodded me on in a comment last week. From Deborah at Show, not Tell, “When will we see more of the 8 Habits of Love?”

I love that the first part of the definition of Candor is “whiteness, brilliance” as if the habit of honesty may blind us with its brilliance. Is this why Candor is so hard? While I like to think of myself as someone who lives in love and not in fear, I get butterflies, the sweat on my brow, when faced with a situation that calls on me to be candid. In fact, these times make me feel completely vulnerable.

Many potentially life-giving experiences of Candor are self-sabotaged by the fear that the person you are addressing will leave, …and you will be left alone in the world.

When we engage the Habit of Candor, our open, loving hearts help alleviate our fear and give us the courage to speak our minds.

–Ed Bacon, 8 Habits of Love

Candor requires us to have a sense of security and courage in our relationship, that it is strong enough to withstand the brilliance of honesty. I am blessed to have a husband who will not let us sleep with anger or an unsettled matter. We talk a lot. Communication is key to our long lasting relationship. (30+ years!) I believe this strongly. Even as an introvert having to battle with my own insecurities, I have come to respect Candor as necessary, no matter how hard or painful. Our honest conversations have helped me improve myself as a wife, mother, and teacher.

Candor is also instrumental in sustaining my relationships with my children. My daughters are now in their twenties. I can remember many candid conversations with them as teenagers. I once said to my daughter, “Do we have a kid problem here or a teacher problem?” Once we had the honest conversation about whose responsibility her grades were, we were able to move forward to address the issue. The teen years are the hardest, in my opinion, and there were many times when I wanted to bury my head in the sand. By being open to conversations, honest conversations, I feel my daughters are stronger and more goal oriented. They have a support system backing them up at all times.

While I am an avid fan of honesty, sometimes it can cause painful resentment. Ed Bacon talks about this. “Even when the intention of Candor is positive, people often react to it with ferocious defensiveness.” We want to protect ourselves from criticism. I find in my most trusted relationships, I can ask for Candor and receive it much better than from someone I do not know well.

I have grown to love and care about my writing partners in my writing group. While I still try to temper criticism with praise, I sometimes say things that I think a total stranger would take offense to; however, we have built a level of safety that allows us to be candid. And we know that the spirit is a giving one; we support each other in all our writing endeavors. Ed Bacon says that Candor is a compliment, an act of trusting the relationship.

Candor takes courage. Courage means opening your heart. But if all is done in love, then Love will temper Candor with Kindness. You may need to be patient and persistent. The world may not be ready for what you have to say.

In what ways are you using Candor? Have you found it difficult to be honest? What is the risk?

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Dear Art Man

Posted in Poetry, Slice of Life, tagged A&E Gallery, New Iberia, Paul Schexnayder on July 2, 2013| 8 Comments »

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Motel Beau Sejour by Paul Schexnayder

On Friday, I joined a group of teachers from the Acadiana Writing Project on a writing marathon. I took two other teachers with me to show them my friend and colleague Paul Schexnayder’s gallery. I sat next to the above painting and wrote him a letter. Paul was dubbed “Art Man” some years ago when he taught at the school my children attended. He has become the Art Man of New Iberia promoting local artists in an old historical building known as A&E Gallery after the original owner, August Erath.

Serendipitously, Paul posted his before and after paintings on Facebook and gave me permission to post them here. This painting is one of his Hometown Series. Residents remember this motel that stood at the western edge of town in the 1960’s and 70’s.

Click here to visit Paul’s website.

Dear Art Man,
I’m here in your gallery today. Like Goldilocks,
I sit in your chair. You know the one:
an old metal stool with the white vinyl seat
splattered with paint, just-right
for reaching the easel. Your apron is draped
over the back. I try it on, pretend
to be you.

Here is an aerial photograph of your subject.
Did you use it to lay out your design?
Are you finished yet? I’m not sure.
Are you?

The sky is a deep dark blue stretching to near white
in the far right hand corner. The sun, perhaps, is rising.
A line of trees defines the horizon. In the foreground,
a sign:

Motel,
Free TV,
Beau Sejour,
Swimming Pool, Restaurant

I recognize the Oldsmobile Vista Cruiser
I had as a child, fake wood on the side.
Does this one have a sunroof or an AM/FM radio
like ours?

I want to go jump into the motel pool
alluring me with a curvy white slide.
I see your foam plate palettes still full of paint.
Do I dare dip a brush in?
Make my mark on your developing masterpiece?
I can hop into the station wagon,
ride to Motel Beau Sejour—
uninvited.

–Margaret Simon, all rights reserved

Motel Beau Sejour finished by Paul Schexnayder.

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Summer on New Castle Lake

Posted in Poetry, Slice of Life, tagged family, Mississippi, Travel on June 25, 2013| 8 Comments »

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I have had a wonderful, peaceful week with my parents in Madison, MS. on New Castle Lake. They look out at the lake every day. There is something so calming about watching water. Each day, they are visited by a great blue heron, a gaggle of Canada geese, and a family of mallards. Each evening, the sun sets over the horizon making a new painting in the sky.

Each day we embarked on an outing. The first fell on my mother’s birthday. We attended her monthly book club meeting that took place in a Circa 1908 Revival mansion The Fairview Inn B&B and restaurant. I loved being surrounded by smart southern women discussing books and life! They put a candle in Mom’s crème brûlée.

Happy Birthday, Dot!

The next day the three of us went to the Mississippi Museum of Art for lunch and a viewing of the Old Masters to Monet. We also enjoyed the permanent collection and the quilt competition.

On Thursday, we went to the Mississippi Craftsmen Center on the Natchez Trace. So many talented artists and craftsmen in Mississippi!

The rest of the week included hearing my brother play with two other musicians at a fine restaurant, a bookstore visit with my dad, and seeing my sister-in-law in Steel Magnolias. She played the mother, M’Lynn and had me sobbing by the end.

My favorite part was just being there, having time to read, write, and visit with my family. One evening we sat out on the screened-in porch. I read aloud poems by Natasha Trethewey (who is originally from Mississippi) while Mom tracked the stars on her iPad. I wrote the following poem:

Tonight,
instead of TV,
we stargaze;
chart the evening sky on the iPad app.

Mom announces Venus
above the horizon
glimmering like an orange diamond,

not unlike the firefly
with its lonely, silent flashes.

When we stop talking,
frogs moan, crying
like spoiled children resisting bedtime:

Let me stay a little longer,
to find more stars,
to catch more stories,
to be more awake!

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The Habit of Truth

Posted in Slice of Life, Teaching, tagged 8 Habits of Love, Ed Bacon, Truth on June 18, 2013| 7 Comments »

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In Ed Bacon’s book, The 8 Habits of Love, through anecdotes from his own life and the lives of others, he outlines 8 habits for us to live in love rather than through fear. The third habit is the Habit of Truth. In this chapter, these words were speaking to me.

The Habit of Truth can help us ascertain which choices are truly ours–and which come from someone else’s script for us that we may be following out of fear.

Truth is not static; it represents constantly developing ideas and insights about ourselves and the world.

When I was 14, all I wanted to be was a writer. I found a page in my diary along with a bad poem,”I want to be a writer.” Here is a picture of a page in my diary.

“I would love to be a writer if only someone would give me confidence!”

When I was 15, I volunteered at a camp for underprivileged children called “Operation Life Enrichment.” Here I spent time with children who had few advantages. I read with them, went swimming with them, and loved them. I knew I wanted to be a teacher.

I knew at a young age what I wanted to do and be. I have kept them both a part of my life. But sometimes there are those people who come along and try to change your path. I think teachers and writers both are susceptible to other people’s expectations of who they should be.

A few years ago, I had a difficult situation in a teaching position. My administrator saw a weakness in me in the area of math. Well, yes, this is true. I am most passionate about teaching reading and writing. Math is not my thing and never will be. Sorry. No amount of remedial education will change this truth about me. I was devastated, however, that my position depended on it. If I didn’t go back to school, I did not have a job. I could’ve done it, but my instincts told me it was wrong. I cried on the shoulder of my husband.

He asked me, “What do you want to do?” What a great question! He was honoring ME. What I wanted was important!

I responded, “I want to teach writing.” That began my search for a new position. None of this was easy, but I was driven by the Habit of Truth. I had to be true to myself. With my masters in gifted, I was able to get an elementary gifted teaching position. And I do occasionally have to teach math. But they also write.

During this time, a friend gave me a poem. This poem saved me. Mary Oliver’s Wild Geese.

Mary Oliver told me I didn’t have to be good. I had to let the soft animal of my body love what it loves. I go back to this poem often remembering that I am responsible for being true to myself in the family of things.

Our Truth is not always an easy choice to make. Truth is not always evident either. It is constantly unfolding. We must listen to the voice of Truth in order to live a vital and honest life, a happy life.

What is your Truth? When have you had a difficult time choosing for yourself over what others expect of you?

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Stillness

Posted in Slice of Life, Spiritual Growth, tagged 8 Habits of Love, Ed Bacon, meditation on June 11, 2013| 7 Comments »

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In my series of posts on the “8 Habits of Love” by Ed Bacon, I am responding this week to the second habit, The Habit of Stillness. The above Animoto video features a triolet poem I wrote using lines from William Wordsworth’s poem It is a Beauteous Evening, Calm and Free. The images are used by permission from Dianne Dempsey-Legnon, Dot Gibson, and a drawing by John Gibson.

You may encounter stillness while on your daily commute, while exercising, or while listening to music. You may find it outdoors or indoors, with a much-loved pet or in solitude. Each of us can experiment and find our unique practice of the Habit of Stillness, which is a foundational habit for opening your heart and your mind, allowing you to experience your loved and loving self. —Ed Bacon, 8 Habits of Love

My habit of stillness
is in the morning,
a dog walk with Charlie,
listening to the symphony,
the loud jeer of the jay,
a mournful coo from the dove,
and a chattering of chickadees.
The world is waking up,
And I am waking to it.

Distant train,
the whirr of Saturday mowers
tries to disturb.
Stillness is not still.
My senses awake like resurrection fern after the rain,
sweet scent of magnolia blossoms,
toot tweets of birds. Even the bayou
is not still today,
soft ripples reflect the rising sun
like the twinkle of evening stars.

When I open my mind to the listening,
the singing, the scented air,
I open my heart to the Holy.

Some ideas for Stillness practice:
*If you are traveling in Louisiana and want to stay in a quiet cottage in the historical town of Breaux Bridge, call my friend Jen at Bonne Terre Cottage.

*If you have a few minutes and love puppies, Olive has a new litter to watch: Olive’s Pups, Nursery Cam

What is your Habit of Stillness? How do you find to time to be alone, quiet, and in communion with God?

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The Habit of Generosity

Posted in Slice of Life, Spiritual Growth, tagged 8 Habits of Love, Ed Bacon, generosity, gratefulness, Mary Oliver on June 4, 2013| 10 Comments »

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When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
–Mary Oliver
View the entire poem here.

My mother sent me a book. This book came from Amazon during Easter break, so I sat in the cool grass enjoying a spring day, and read the Introduction. I felt an immediate connection to Father Ed Bacon and thought, “I know him from somewhere.” I went to my closet to find a journal from the summer of 1993 when I attended a workshop at Camp Kanuga in North Carolina. A coinciding workshop on Art and Spirituality was being led by a team from St. Andrews Cathedral in Jackson, MS. One evening at dinner (family style) Ed Bacon, the leader of the Art and Spirituality workshop, invited us to join one of the sessions. I remember thinking then (and writing about it in my journal) how generous this man was to let us join their group and enjoy their fellowship as well as experience art and spirituality. And now, 20 years later, I was reading his book “8 Habits of Love.”

The first habit is The Habit of Generosity. Fr. Ed writes, “The human spirit, just like the seas, needs both inflow and outflow in order to foster life and create energy.” We need generosity as much as we need the air we breathe. The more we give, the greater our life becomes with deeper meaning and growth of our spirit.

When I was a senior in high school, my house flooded 5 feet. The exact measurement sticks in my head because that was the height of the top of my closet, so I knew whatever I stored in that space was saved. Everything else was full of mud and soaking wet. This experience was profound for my family as tragedies often are. It was the opening of our hearts to the generosity of others. And there was so much overflowing of generosity, greater than the 5 feet of flood waters. Twenty-one people from our church community showed up to clean out the house. We received donations as well as emotional support from so many. Generosity of spirit overcame the loss of material things.

And today, when we hear about tragedies such as the tornadoes in Oklahoma, we hear, too, the stories of generosity and how that grows and holds up the victims. Generosity knows no limits. It is not bounded by anything because the human heart holds the Beloved.

Sometimes we hit upon road blocks, things that steer us away from a generous spirit. We get busy with the day to day work. And sometimes fear seeps in. We cannot function outside of ourselves when we give in to fear. We must open ourselves up by giving. When we connect with others in a generous way, the walls are broken down. We find love.

Every week, I wake up early on Tuesday morning and go to serve at Solomon House, our church’s outreach mission. We hand out bags of groceries to the needy. But I hate to even use that word…needy, because I may be feeding them physically, but they feed me emotionally. They show me who the Beloved is, in their gentle touch, their laughter, their kindness, their humbleness. Many of these faces are faces of friends.

“The Habit of Generosity is often as much about giving emotional or spiritual support as it is about giving money. At its core, it is about communicating kinship with others.” –Ed Bacon

No matter what the situation, who we come into contact with, if we approach them with loving generosity, we can find a way to connect. And this is what love is all about-connecting one heart to another.

I’ve decided that this summer my Tuesday Slices will be in response to “8 Habits of Love.” Next week the habit is one of stillness.

Please share in the comments how the Habit of Generosity has worked in your life.

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The Road to Indigo

Posted in Poetry, Slice of Life, tagged free verse poetry, Sandra Sarr, The Road to Indigo, traiteurs on May 28, 2013| 11 Comments »

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Me with Sandy Sarr at a local restaurant.

I enjoy connecting with new people online. I met Sandy Sarr through a mutual friend. Our friend thought we would like each other because we are both authors. So I friended Sandy on Facebook, and we read each others’ blogs. But meeting someone face to face, the old fashioned way, is so much better.

Sandy has spent the month of May in Louisiana for the last three years. She comes to meet people and to work on her novel, The Road to Indigo ( her working title). We had brunch together on Saturday. Jen was right; we connected easily and immediately. Sandy is about to complete an MFA program and has been writing her novel for 3 years. This project led her to Louisiana to meet many different people. She has some wonderful stories, some of which give you the goosebumps because they are so full of connectedness and coincidence, the do-do-do-do-twilight effect. Please visit her blog The Road to Indigo to read about her process of writing.

I wrote a poem for Sandy. I am attempting to post the Soundcloud recording of it.

The Road to Indigo
The traiteur says the stories are yours to tell.

For Sandra Sarr

The traveler arrives from Puget Sound
to paddle a pirogue on the bayou.
She sees the black alligator on the bank
dive deep, barely rustling the burnished water.

She knows there are stories hiding here.
No longer alone, the train’s whistle
awakens her as it weaves
in and out of her mind
leading her on a journey.

Tracks cross as if joined for a greater purpose.
An artist,
a poet,
a healer,
a plantation proprietor
all tell their stories—
tell her to make them live again.

The steam trumpet pierces her skin,
opens blood vessels to bleed
something new of something old—
something profound,
something healing,
something eternal
–Margaret Simon, all rights reserved

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Blogging is for Kids

Posted in Blogging, Slice of Life, Writing, tagged gifted education, Kidblog, teaching, Writing Slice of Life on May 21, 2013| 6 Comments »

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Class group hug, saying goodbye.

If I were to name an overall theme to this school year, it would be the year of blogging. This school year I started using Kidblogs with my students. I was pleased to find this site that was not blocked by our district server and was safe and easy for students to use.

At first I set up a site just for my students. I teach gifted elementary students at two schools, so this site was titled “Mrs. Simon’s GT Allstars.” I required only one post per week and comments on two posts. I created a very simple rubric that included these four aspects: 1. I posted at least one time this week. My post followed the teacher’s prompt. 2. My post was free of grammar errors. 3. I commented on at least two other posts. 4. My comment was thoughtful and constructive.

Kidblogs provided my students a forum for posting and sharing their writing. They interacted through comments. Some students built stories and would write, “Stay tuned for part 2.” We talked about commenting and creating a “compliment sandwich” or “criticycle.” Students became anxious for new writing prompts. They would rush to the computers to check on their comments.

I introduced the Kidblog site to my colleagues. We used it for responses from a group field trip with the 4th and 5th grade gifted students. We made a site for our 6th grade enrichment project. Two colleagues decided to read the same book and had conversations between their students on Kidblog.

Then came the Slice of Life Challenge in March. Being familiar with writing on a blog made it easier for my students to jump in and participate. I made this site public (after getting parental consent) so that other Slice Of Life writers could read and comment. For the Slice of Life Challenge, I raised the expectations for posting to three posts per week and commenting on three other blogs. But to win a prize, they had to write at least every day we had school. The more they posted, the better the prize. I had 4 students get the top prize for posting every day. One of these told me that she felt she was a real writer now.

I highly recommend using blogs in your classroom. The Kidblog site is easy to use. The site administrators are helpful and supportive. I think my students are better writers, but the best part is they think they are better writers.

I did a survey and here are some of their comments:

The way that people could comment on my writing helped me to improve. I think everyone built up each others’ self esteem. I can not think of a better way to improve this blog; it is already great.

During slice of life, I was able to see what others’ interests are. People’s comments helped me improve my writing. Writing should be shared with the world. Blogging has improved my writing and helped me stay connected with friends. I hope kidblogs continues.

When I commented, I tried to be as nice as possible, but still able to tell the author’s mistakes. From now on, I’ll try to think less about mistakes and be more positive when I comment.

I really enjoy blogging on slice of life challenge this year, and it was the first time I enjoyed blogging. I used to think it was boring, but it’s not. I enjoy being able to communicate with people all around the USA. YES! Blogging was so fun! I want to do it every year.

To see all of their comments and their writing, go to Slice of Life Challenge.

I want to take a moment to thank all of the Slice of Life teachers who took the time to visit our Kidblog site and comment. We even had a few authors stop in, Caroline Starr Rose and Sharon Creech. The wonders of this World Wide Web!

Making connections! Improving writing! Sharing! Building a community of writers! These are the values of blogging. Blogging is for kids!

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Three Gratitudes

Posted in Slice of Life, tagged gratitude, Mother's Day, teacher appreciation on May 14, 2013| 10 Comments »

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Gratitude #1: My friend brought me gardenias from her garden. Just one deep breath and I relaxed into their sweet jasmine scent.

Gratitude #2: Last week was Teacher Appreciation Week. In addition to gifts of chocolate, lunch every day, and 5 extra lbs., I received this beautiful note. My favorite line is: “You’ve given me confidence, and showed me that I can make a difference.”

Gratitude #3: To top off Teacher Appreciation Week was Mother’s Day. I am so grateful for my successful, beautiful, kind, and loving daughters. Here I am with 2 of my 3.