Spiritual Growth | Reflections on the Teche

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My One Little Word: Presence

Posted in Slice of Life, Spiritual Growth, tagged One Little Word on January 5, 2016| 20 Comments »

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photo by Margaret Gibson Simon enhanced on Picmonkey

As the old year came to a close and the new one began, I was thinking about my One Little Word, a single word to guide me through the year. I thought I had it: Inspire. This word appeared as my friend, Julianne, selected a word bracelet at a gathering at NCTE. I grabbed the word Peace, but I liked hers better. So I began thinking about how Inspire could be my OLW. I couldn’t help thinking I wasn’t entitled to this word. I kept wearing Peace on my arm.

The last few weeks, however, revealed Presence to me. I read Richard Rohr’s quote: “We cannot attain the presence of God because we’ re already in the presence of God. What’s absent is awareness.”

I received a camera for Christmas. It calls me to be present, notice, see.

Fire by Margaret Gibson Simon

I slowed down and looked around. What is there but this very moment?

Living this word makes me a better friend, a better partner, a better teacher. When I am fully present, I listen and truly hear. I judge less. I don’t worry.

I sketched about Presence in my journal.

Than I made a drawing from my sketch. I shared this process with my students.

I took a picture at 5:00 PM on Monday. I’m not sure if I will keep this up. It’s an idea, but not a necessary goal for being present. I love how choosing this word, I am not obligating myself to anything but being… present.

Photo by Margaret Gibson Simon, 5 PM on Jan. 4, 2106.

Holly Mueller hosts a round-up on Thursdays called Spiritual Journey Thursdays. We will be writing about our own and other bloggers’ words. If you want to join, go to Holly’s blog here.

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Be Present

Posted in Poetry, Spiritual Growth, Writing, tagged God's presence, Richard Rohr, Spiritual poetry, W.H. Auden, white pelicans on December 31, 2015| 4 Comments »

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We cannot attain the presence of God because we’ re already in the presence of God. What’s absent is awareness. Little do we realize that God ‘s love is maintaining us in existence with every breath we take. As we take another, it means that God is choosing us now and now and now. —Richard Rohr

An elderly couple came to the door and handed my father a pamphlet.

“Are you seeking the kingdom?”

My father replies, “You don’t have to seek it. I know where it is. Right here. Right now.”

“We are talking about the kingdom of GOD?” pressing the pamphlet forward into his hands.

“Yes, you don’t have to seek the kingdom. It’s here. You just need to pay attention.”

At those words, the evangelists turned and left.

Moments before this visit, Dad was reading W.H. Auden’s poem, For the Time Being. “And because of His visitation, we may no longer desire God as if he were lacking. Our redemption is no longer a question of pursuit, but of surrender to Him who is always and everywhere present.”

What makes the paper whites bloom
on this cold morning? Opening
up like lace droplets
on the dormant garden?

Who tells the white pelicans
to go to convention on the lake?
A gathering of pruning, splashing,
fishing. Awkward grace
in a cloud of white.

A poem will come if you let it.
Sit with His presence for a while.
Moment by moment, we are here
to praise.

–Margaret Gibson Simon

Photo by Margaret Simon, all rights reserved.

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I Want to be Light

Posted in Spiritual Growth, Writing, tagged Christmas, Mary Oliver, spiritual journey on December 24, 2015| 4 Comments »

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Starlings in Winter by Mary Oliver; Chunky and noisy, but with stars in their black feathers, they spring from the telephone wire and instantly they

Source: Starlings in Winter, poem – Mary Oliver poems | Best Poems

We received some rough news this week. A diagnosis. A good friend. A young mother.

How do we handle this cancer nightsoil in the midst of Christmas carols and wrapping and baking. Where is the joy? I am struggling to find it.

I found it on Facebook, of all places, where her neighbor set up a Caring Bridges site. There’s a picture of over 50 people gathered in prayer. I texted, “I am overwhelmed by what you are doing.”

“It’s hard to accept the love that comes with such a crappy thing.”

So I will find joy in the love. Love of my family, my friends far and near, and of God’s word made flesh.

Watch the light of the full moon tonight, this Christmas Eve, hold your loved ones tight. Because this moment is all we have. Merry Christmas!

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Your Kingdom Come

Posted in Spiritual Growth, tagged choir, singing, spiritual reflection on December 17, 2015| 3 Comments »

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In Sunday’s paper, there was an article titled “Dance with the Spirit.” I read about liturgical dance in a local Catholic church. I haven’t seen this dance myself, but I was struck by the words of their leader.

A lot of people think entertainment is foolish, but God wouldn’t give you the gift if he didn’t want you to share it. –Brenda Moore

I carried this thought with me to church and through choir practice. I love my church choir. On most Sundays there are only four of us. We are known as “the heavenly choir” maybe because we sing from the loft or maybe because we sing heavenly. The historical slave-made brick walls carry our voices into the sanctuary, transformed.

Last Sunday, my director, Leon, asked me to do a solo for this week. We practiced with the keyboard transposed to a lower key. I am an alto. I can sing mezzo soprano, but those high notes can be a struggle on my best days.

About 15 minutes before I was to sing, Leon could not get the keyboard to transpose. What this meant was I had to sing a high F. I tried to stay calm. Breathe. The practice went well. I kept thinking about the article and how God gave me the ability to sing, so I should share it. If I caved, I would disappoint myself, but more than that, I would not be honoring this gift.

The song spoke of God’s gift to Mary of Jesus. “That God should stoop from heaven, to be my son, said she.”

I gave it all I had. The sound of my voice echoed in the air of the sanctuary. I wrote a poem response:

My kingdom go
as your kingdom comes.
I become your voice
Lifted out of my own self-consciousness.

My song is your song,
unafraid.
As Mary accepted your call to be Mother,
I accept this call to sing
for you.

–Margaret Simon

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Respect the Divinity

Posted in Gifted Education, Spiritual Growth, tagged differentiation, spiritual reflection on December 10, 2015| 8 Comments »

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There are reflections that can be tough to write. I thank Holly for offering this spiritual space for me to write the tough stuff.

An angel entered my life and left quickly, but I feel his presence still. When I first found out that C. would be joining my class, the directive came with a large stack of paper. The papers told a story of a troubled boy, adopted, who began his life with seizures. The story unfolded with a diagnosis of superior intellect, ADHD, ODD, depression, and Asperger’s. Who was the child who was going to enter my classroom?

On the day I set out to meet him, he was in line with his class returning from lunch. He was being yelled at to stop. He was ignoring the directive. He continued looking forward and following his class. “Which one is he?” I inquired. Blonde hair, blue eyes and a focused stare straight ahead. His mother was subsequently called to come pick him up. He was being defiant.

I met him again in the office with his mother. He talked to me about planets and stars. The day he started coming to me for gifted, I introduced him to Wonderopolis. I showed him how he could write about his learning on the blog. We went to the library and checked out 4 Seymour Simon books. His face lit up. A teacher reported to me that for the first time he looked at her and smiled in the hallway.

Boy by Kathleen Hartman

I kept up with C.’s daily behavior report. I talked with his other teachers. Things were running smoothly. He even had a few days of rewards.

Then one day I got a phone call from the assistant principal telling me that he was having a melt down in the hallway. I made my way to his hall. When I found him, he was lying on the floor with his booksack over his face. He was completely alone. I pulled the bag away from his face, and he woke up. Yes, he was sleeping.

“How did you fall asleep?”

“I guess I was bored.”

“Why were you bored? Why are you out in the hall all by yourself?”

“I had to sit for recess. I forgot my math homework.”

I walked him to the cafeteria to meet his class for lunch. We talked to his teacher. Yes, he had to sit out of recess, but his response was disrespectful.

I am afraid this was not the last time that he was “disrespectful” to this teacher.

I know that I have the privilege of teaching students in small groups. I know that I am allowed to use interest areas to inspire students. However, I am saddened that the regular class cannot differentiate for children like C. He needed to be treated differently. He needed cool down time. He needed respect. He needed…

Now this light has moved on. His mother thought it best to move him to another school. I miss him. I miss the scent of him, too. He said it was an essential oil called, “Peaceful Child.” I miss his eagerness. He greeted each new day as an adventure. “What are we going to do today?”

“Thank you for being an advocate for my child.” His mothers last words to me. He gave me a bear hug. Tears welled up in my eyes.

In the Baptismal covenant of the Episcopal church, we say “I promise to respect the dignity of every human being.”

I think the word dignity should be divinity. We need to recognize the God in each child. We need to respect the divinity in every human being. Think of what a change that would be. If every person you meet is God, how would you behave differently?

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Harvest Home

Posted in Gratitude, Spiritual Growth, tagged harvest, spiritual journey on November 26, 2015| 7 Comments »

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I love that the word harvest is on my list for preparations for Thanksgiving. I have a brown thumb. I am no good at growing stuff. I tend to forget to water, prune, anything that a plant requires for survival. So I am filled with pleasure when I can harvest in my own backyard. God blessed citrus trees with resilience. They don’t need me. And yet they give back to me.

This is how God’s love is. Abundant. All we have to do is harvest it.

I am wishing for you this holiday season an abundant harvest.

Like that tiny mustard seed. When planted it takes root and turns into a large tree with many branches.

Open up your arms to the world.
Glow like the lemon in the sunlight.
Be joy.
Be love.
Be the harvest.

A bowl of life from my own backyard!

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Sacrifice of Presence

Posted in Gratitude, Spiritual Growth on November 12, 2015| 3 Comments »

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A year ago, one of my young friends was in a terrible car accident. This week we celebrated her life. Her 24th birthday, and she is walking and talking and trying to build her future. But recovery is long. Her balance is not totally back, so she walks with a cane. Many days she is depressed because she isn’t sure what the future will hold. What is there to do now?

When I don’t know what to do, I think about the ministry of presence. Sometimes that’s all we have. Prayer is presence, the willingness to sacrifice–to give of ourselves to service. Humble our own egos and respond to God’s call to love. That’s it. Love. Sounds easy.

The doorway to true joy is not the need to be loved, but the need to love.

Open the door, welcome the one who has made us all, and free your soul to love without judgement, without ego, without expectation.

A picture of Glenae holding the prayer shawl I made for her when she was in the hospital.

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Healing Music

Posted in Spiritual Growth, tagged Cajun music, Cowboy Jazz, Healin' Song, Jo-El Sonnier on November 5, 2015| 4 Comments »

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Holly invites us to reflect on our spiritual journey every Thursday. This week I’ve been thinking about healing.

Music is such a healing medicine. One of my favorite bands in our area is Stop the Clock Cowboy Jazz. The group includes 10, sometimes more, musicians. Ever since the Lafayette shooting, Kelly sings “Smile.” No matter what, this song stirs something in me. I could replace the word smile with hope. Hope though your heart is aching. God’s love offers hope, no matter what.

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it’s breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky
you’ll get by.

If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through
For you.

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near

That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying.
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile-
If you just smile.

Read more: Charlie Chaplin – Smile Lyrics | MetroLyrics

I saw this video posted on Facebook. The song was written by Jo-El Sonnier, a Cajun musician, and performed by a number of local musicians. The Healin’ Song was originally written in 2001 after 9/11, but was not recorded until after the shooting at the Grand Theater in Lafayette. Whenever musicians get together and share their love of music and culture and place, healing can happen. The Acadiana community has bonded and become a stronghold for us.

Turning to music in times of grief is nothing new. The Psalms are just that, songs written for healing.

Sacred words,
words in verse,
words in song
carry a rhythm into your heart,
a beat that can bring life back
to the darkest places
and let light shine through
to warm,
to soothe,
to heal
and make new.

Joanne Shih lettering

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Heartbeat

Posted in Spiritual Growth, tagged emergency, healing, prayer, spiritual presence, tachycardia on October 22, 2015| 4 Comments »

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Today is Spiritual Journey Thursday. Each week Holly Mueller invites us to reflect on our journey. This week the theme is doubt. I have no doubt of the existence of God because 30 years ago I was witness to it.

On July 3, 1985 I dropped off my four month old baby girl at day care. It was summer, and I wasn’t teaching, but I needed to run some errands, and she needed to get accustomed to the day care. However at noon while I ate lunch with my husband, I had an uneasy feeling. I needed to go check on my baby.

I dropped by and took Maggie in my arms to nurse her. Something wasn’t right. Her breathing was quick, almost like a dog’s panting. After she nursed, she spit up. Not unusual, but the liquid was tinted with reddish brown. That sent me into panic mode. I asked the day care worker to call the doctor. They told her to have me come in immediately.

Usually at the pediatrician’s office, you sit in the waiting room for hours waiting to see the doctor. Not this time. They whisked me to the back. The doctor came in quickly and listened to Maggie’s heart. He had a grave expression on his face. Her heart rate was too fast. She needed to go to the hospital.

This was pre-cell phone era, so I used the doctor’s office phone to call my husband. His secretary sent me to hold, and I was cut off. I called back and cried into the phone. “This is an emergency!”

The hospital was near the doctor’s office. Again, there was no waiting. No long form filling. The nurses grabbed my baby and within minutes had an IV in her tiny little head pumping in medicine. The diagnosis was tachycardia, an abnormal fast heart rate.

Hours passed, and Maggie’s heart rate did not slow down. It was racing at 200+ beats per minute. Our priest came by and prayed with us. He, too, was grave and sad. Was I going to lose my first child?

Around midnight, the doctors decided to send us to Ochsner in New Orleans by helicopter. I would fly with Maggie and Jeff would drive with friends.

I was laid on the stretcher first. Then they handed me the baby. We lay together chest to chest. Heartbeat to heartbeat.

Helicopters are loud. There was no talking to anyone. As we lifted off, we ascended straight up into the sky. No build up to take off as in an airplane. One minute on the ground, the next in the air.

While we flew, I prayed fiercely. I don’t remember the words, but they were like those of Jesus on the cross. “Take this cup away from me.” I didn’t pray for healing. I prayed for presence.

In the sky high above, I felt the physical presence of God, a warmth of hands wrapped around my shoulders. I felt calm, peaceful. I knew everything would be okay. Maggie’s heart slowed to the rhythm of my own.

The equipment at Ochsner was more sophisticated, so the doctors could tell that her fast heart rate was a sinus rhythm. It was not tachycardia. There was an infection somewhere in her system that caused the fast rate.

After many pricks and prods, Maggie was diagnosed with pneumonia. Remember the blood in her spittle? All was well, and we returned home by July 5th with a hoarse and tired baby girl.

When faced with tragedy, I am completely confident in God’s presence. Whether or not God physically healed Maggie doesn’t matter. I know that a strong and holy spirit was with me. We were both healed.

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