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There are reflections that can be tough to write. I thank Holly for offering this spiritual space for me to write the tough stuff.
An angel entered my life and left quickly, but I feel his presence still. When I first found out that C. would be joining my class, the directive came with a large stack of paper. The papers told a story of a troubled boy, adopted, who began his life with seizures. The story unfolded with a diagnosis of superior intellect, ADHD, ODD, depression, and Asperger’s. Who was the child who was going to enter my classroom?
On the day I set out to meet him, he was in line with his class returning from lunch. He was being yelled at to stop. He was ignoring the directive. He continued looking forward and following his class. “Which one is he?” I inquired. Blonde hair, blue eyes and a focused stare straight ahead. His mother was subsequently called to come pick him up. He was being defiant.
I met him again in the office with his mother. He talked to me about planets and stars. The day he started coming to me for gifted, I introduced him to Wonderopolis. I showed him how he could write about his learning on the blog. We went to the library and checked out 4 Seymour Simon books. His face lit up. A teacher reported to me that for the first time he looked at her and smiled in the hallway.
Boy by Kathleen Hartman
I kept up with C.’s daily behavior report. I talked with his other teachers. Things were running smoothly. He even had a few days of rewards.
Then one day I got a phone call from the assistant principal telling me that he was having a melt down in the hallway. I made my way to his hall. When I found him, he was lying on the floor with his booksack over his face. He was completely alone. I pulled the bag away from his face, and he woke up. Yes, he was sleeping.
“How did you fall asleep?”
“I guess I was bored.”
“Why were you bored? Why are you out in the hall all by yourself?”
“I had to sit for recess. I forgot my math homework.”
I walked him to the cafeteria to meet his class for lunch. We talked to his teacher. Yes, he had to sit out of recess, but his response was disrespectful.
I am afraid this was not the last time that he was “disrespectful” to this teacher.
I know that I have the privilege of teaching students in small groups. I know that I am allowed to use interest areas to inspire students. However, I am saddened that the regular class cannot differentiate for children like C. He needed to be treated differently. He needed cool down time. He needed respect. He needed…
Now this light has moved on. His mother thought it best to move him to another school. I miss him. I miss the scent of him, too. He said it was an essential oil called, “Peaceful Child.” I miss his eagerness. He greeted each new day as an adventure. “What are we going to do today?”
“Thank you for being an advocate for my child.” His mothers last words to me. He gave me a bear hug. Tears welled up in my eyes.
In the Baptismal covenant of the Episcopal church, we say “I promise to respect the dignity of every human being.”
I think the word dignity should be divinity. We need to recognize the God in each child. We need to respect the divinity in every human being. Think of what a change that would be. If every person you meet is God, how would you behave differently?
Margaret,
How fortunate this child was to have you in his life, however short. I hope his mother found the perfect place for him. One of the post ideas I have in the back of my mind is a Code of Conduct for teachers. My niece recently received her white coat in her MD course study, and in the program, there was list of expectations MD students pledged to uphold with their patients. Being a teacher, I quietly translated each one into the wording that would apply between teacher and student. I wondered why student teachers didn’t have to take the same pledge. I know I fall short on a daily basis, but I do try every day to respect the dignity (and divinity) of students. If teachers can’t do that more often than they fail, they shouldn’t be in the profession. This profession is too important, and we are too influential to be cavalier (and at times even cruel) about/to our students.
You are so right. A code of conduct. Great idea.
Oh Margaret, this post gave me chills as I read it because I know there are so many children out there like C. I can only imagine how your heart must feel, but I hope you realize the impact you had on him and his mother in just that short time. I have been thinking about my OLW for 2016 and have felt a nudge. This post, your words, his story is showing me another sign. Thank you for sharing this story, because I know how very hard it must have been. I will be looking into the face of God 103 times today, and I will be thinking about your little C.
My prayer is that he will find a place in this world. We can do so much if we only care.
Margaret, there are so many children excluded from the joy of the classroom because of their uniqueness. I have seen so many in my career as a reading specialist and literacy educator/administrator. You have pointed this out as a spotlight into the life of a child who needs extra attention to thrive. Respect the divinity is a mantra for all educators to understand that each learner is unique and deserves our attention and support.
Even though C. is out of your sphere, Margaret, he won’t forget you I’m sure. I’ve heard so many stories of people who had one teacher or person in life who understood them and gave them the respect and attention you gave C. You have probably impacted him more than you know.
Margaret,
What a simple yet thought provoking question.. “If every person you meet is God, how would you behave differently?” I can only imagine the positive impact this simple question would have if we were allowed to post in every classroom. There would be no need for PBIS posters adorning every wall and no little C’s lying on hall floors struggling to gain access to a Free Appropriate Public Education.
I have no doubt that your short time with C will have an everlasting positive impact on the both of you and all. You are the epitome of a model teacher, I pray that others follow your lead.
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That’s the price for having a free site. Thanks for commenting, Phyllis. I miss you terribly.