Spiritual Growth | Reflections on the Teche

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There is No Plan

Posted in Poetry, Spiritual Growth, Writing, tagged Enneagram, spiritual journey on June 25, 2015| 10 Comments »

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Yesterday I bought roses at the grocery store. I placed them in a vase. One broke off the stem. My cat is eating another one. This is not part of the plan. The roses were supposed to bring me joy. They were supposed to open up and shine like the sun in my breakfast room. But no.

I could fix this. I could rearrange them. Take out the messed up flowers. Place them away from kitty’s perch.

Mimi wants to eat my roses.

So it is with God’s plan. Roses in a vase that get messed up, fall over, die.

Why do we keep looking for a plan? There isn’t one. Sorry folks. The God that I know and love is not upstairs looking down with his clipboard checking off when I do something that is part of the plan. Nope. Not happening.

My mother gave me a set of CDs of Richard Rohr and Russ Hudson discussing the Enneagram and Grace. What they say about the human condition and God’s part in it makes sense to me. What God is about is transformation. God is already a part of each of us. His spirit is within us all. We are the ones who need to change. We have to sit quietly with God and allow his grace to transform us.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14

Someone I love dearly is in terrible pain. Her illness is not in God’s plan. I cannot accept that excuse. Pain happens. Tragedy happens. A deranged boy can enter a church and kill nine beautiful souls. There is no plan.

We enter the darkness. We enter the tragedy, the sorrow, the pain. There, we find God. Then we can crawl out on the other side. Then we can shine a light. Then we can be the resurrection.

I must make myself humble, the size of a mustard seed. Plant it deep in the soil of God’s love. Then I will grow. I will spread love. I will be transformed.

Rain
with a borrowed line from Kazim Ali “The sky is a bowl of dark water, rinsing your face.”

Blue Jay sings to the rain,
“See you. See you. Come. Come.”

The sky is a bowl of dark water,
The deck covered in crystal glass.

I step outside in the rain.
Let it rinse my face.

Join the bird in a song
that turns to a sad tune.

No matter. My face is wet
with God’s tears. I am the rain.
–Margaret Simon

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When You Laugh

Posted in Spiritual Growth, tagged Laughter, On Being, Sister Simone Campbell, spiritual journey, The Servant Song on June 18, 2015| 6 Comments »

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When you laugh, I’ll laugh with you.
—The Servant Song

I drive the highway south to New Orleans fairly often. There is a bridge overpass that is quite faulty. This used to frustrate me because suddenly my car was bumping up and down jarring me out of whatever thought I was having. Once I was driving this road with my friend Cathy. We were making a day trip to New Orleans to shop for wigs and dresses for the upcoming Berry Queen ball. Already we were in the mood for fun. When the bumping started, I exclaimed my usual ugh!, but when I looked over at Cathy, she was laughing and exaggerating the up and down movement. She says with glee, “I love this bridge!”

My attitude changed totally and ever since, I look forward to the bridge. I remember the fun day we had, the laughter in Cathy’s voice, and the memory of shared joy.

Laughter is like that. Laughter can change a moment of fear and frustration into one of joy and delight. I believe God is all about transforming moments into joy.

Sunset reflection

Today I am at the lake to celebrate my mother’s birthday. My sister and her children are here. There will be lots of talking and sharing and laughing.

On my way here, I listened to a podcast called On Being. The guest was Sister Simone Campbell. You can listen to it here. One of the writing exercises I like to do is turn my notes into a poem. Here is a found poem from Sister Simone.

Walk willing.
Open hands
for the treasure
to hold, not grasp,
willing to share.
Open heart
ready to be broken
by his story,
forever changed.
Make me one part
of the one body
that Paul speaks of.
Wake me up
to do the thing
I am able to do.

One of my favorite folk hymns is The Servant Song. This song expresses the community of Christ and helps me to remember how to be fully present for others on this spiritual journey.

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55 Years: A Legacy

Posted in Gratitude, Spiritual Growth, tagged Episcopal Student Center, legacy, parents on June 11, 2015| 2 Comments »

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My parents, Dot and John, with my youngest daughter.

When Holly posted that the theme for this week’s Spiritual Thursday would be legacy again, my attitude about this word had improved. I realized that today is June 11th, my parents’ 55th wedding anniversary. Somehow we don’t tend to talk about someone’s legacy while they are still living, but I want to challenge that idea today. My parents are thankfully still living and healthy. Every day I am grateful for that. They do not live near me, so I have to rely on phone calls. In fact, my mother was the one who talked me into doing Facebook. She wanted to know what I was doing. Funny, I don’t think she counted on this whole blogging thing, though.

I could write about the legacy of talent; My father is an artist while my mother is a musician. Or I could write about how they parented us to be ourselves. Or I could write about the great flood of 1979 that tested our family as well as our community. All of these would make good blog posts. However, today, since it’s Spiritual Thursday, I want to write about my parents as spiritual directors.

My parents met at the Episcopal Student Center on the campus of LSU. My mother was the daughter of an Episcopal priest. I am what they call a “cradle Episcopalian.” I was baptized by my grandfather at a mere 3 weeks old. At that time our country was involved in the Korean War, and there was a possibility Dad would be sent to Korea. He ended up being sent to Fort Polk, Louisiana.

From my birth, the Episcopal church has been a stronghold in my life. I even followed in my parents’ footsteps to LSU and the Episcopal Student Center where I met my husband. You could say there was something in the water, but in reality, the church was a place where I felt at home. And when you feel at home somewhere, you can be the best you. Today, my husband and I are faithful parishioners at his home church, The Episcopal Church of the Epiphany.

When I visit, we can be in the kitchen or on the porch where we look out at the lake and talk for hours about spiritual theology. I value these discussions. My mother and I talk about the Enneagram. This is a interesting theory around personalities. My father will discuss theories about time and space, death and resurrection. His ideas fascinate me.

While the church is my stronghold, my parents have been and continue to be my spiritual directors. I found this picture of their church holding a can drive and creating a labyrinth. They are there in the circle of worshippers like they are with me in the circle of my spirit.

Labyrinth of cans raises awareness of hunger.

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Legacy

Posted in Spiritual Growth, tagged Audrey Assad, legacy, Spiritual poetry, word play poem on June 4, 2015| 5 Comments »

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Every week Holly invites us to write about our spiritual journey. This week’s theme is Leaving a Legacy. Too much pressure if you think about it, which is exactly what I do after she tweets out the theme. Carol wrote about leaving a digital footprint on Sunday. I told her that I don’t like to think about this because it’s intimidating. What if I’m not “leaving a legacy.” I am very good at assigning guilt to myself. I do much better in this digital platform when I just write what’s on my mind. When I am true to myself, most readers respond in a positive way and with a connection. This is more important to me than leaving a legacy.

Which leads me to playing with the word in a word play poem.

Legacy is a lofty word
leaning on me like
the preacher gripping the pulpit
pointing its accusing finger.

Legacy leaves me looking
too long, hoping to see
what they see, to know the secret
of a life well lived.

With its sharp turned back,
Legacy asks “Why aren’t you scrapbooking?”
Folding pictures into decorative pages,
making memories into 3 by 5 cards.

I’d like my legacy to be a flower
shrouded in beauty with strong scent
pressed between the pages of a favorite book
waiting there for you to find.

–Margaret Simon

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Comforting Silence

Posted in Poetry, Spiritual Growth, Writing, tagged meditation, silence, Spiritual poetry on May 28, 2015| 7 Comments »

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“In the silence of the heart God speaks. If you face God in prayer and silence, God will speak to you. Then you will know that you are nothing. It is only when you realize your nothingness, your emptiness, that God can fill you with Himself. Souls of prayer are souls of great silence.”

― Mother Teresa, In the Heart of the World: Thoughts, Stories and Prayers

Ah, the silence of summer. Days full of nothing. The older I get the more I appreciate silence. Sometimes silence is awkward, so we try to fill it up with sound. We turn on the TV or radio. We make a phone call. In the car, I rarely ride without the radio on. At home, I turn on the TV.

Over and over I am reminded that God comes in silence. When I take the time to turn off the devices and just listen, I hear joy in the songs of the birds. I hear the whisper of wind. I hear the quiet voice of God.

I took a walk to the park and did not take my phone. I walked alone. I was amazed at the noisiness of the birds, especially the mockingbird. I recorded one high in a tree. During the recording you can hear me say good morning to another walker. Listen and count the number of tunes the mockingbird sings.

When you are most at ease with another person, silence isn’t awkward. We stop trying to fill the open void with chatter. Notice this with your closest loved ones. With them, silence is golden. That’s how it is with God. Quiet moments given to prayer and meditation. Don’t chatter. Let your thoughts flit away like a moth. Ride the silent wave to an ultimate closeness with your creator.

Silence is a source of great strength

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May: The End

Posted in Spiritual Growth, Teaching, tagged Eleven, End of school year, May, Sandra Cisneros on May 21, 2015| 7 Comments »

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December, May, and August are the most difficult months for me. December for the obvious reasons, end-of-the-year holiday madness. August is the month of my birthday as well as the beginning of school.

May is a tough month for us teachers. We are faced with so many things to get done, packing up the year, and moving students on. Saying goodbye is stressful. How do you do it? With just a hug? With a card? A letter? A video of the year? I am not a “regular” teacher. I am not showing videos. I am not organizing games. I am not having end-of-the-year parties. Some of these things I try to squeeze in to our last days, but attendance is not reliable. Of all the months and days of the school year, these last ones are when I am least comfortable. I am tired. I am sad. I eat a lot of chocolate.

Do you know the story by Sandra Cisneros, Eleven? “What they don’t understand about birthdays and what they never tell you is that when you’re eleven, you’re also ten, and nine, and eight, and seven, and six, and five, and four, and three, and two, and one. And when you wake up on your eleventh birthday you expect to feel eleven, but you don’t. You open your eyes and everything’s just like yesterday, only it’s today. And you don’t feel eleven at all. You feel like you’re still ten. And you
are –underneath the year that makes you eleven.”

What they don’t understand about school years and what they never tell you is when you’re in 6th grade, you’re also a 5th grader, and a 4th grader, and a 3rd grader, and a 2nd grader, and a 1st grader. When you walk to class on the first day of 6th grade, you expect to feel different, but you don’t. You open your eyes and everything’s just like last year, only it’s a new school. And you don’t feel like a sixth grader at all. You feel like you’re starting first grade all over again. And you are –underneath the year that makes you a 6th grader.

Like some days you may say something stupid, and that’s like you’re still in first grade, and you aren’t sure where the bathroom is yet. Or some days, you may look into your lunchbox and cry, thinking of your mother’s hands making your sandwich and how she’s waiting for you to tell her all about your day. And you want to make her happy and make her feel like you are growing up and ready to face the world of middle school, but you’re not. You wish you could curl up under your desk on a springy red mat with a towel that smells like home and take a nap. That is the part that makes you feel like you are still in kindergarten. Your teacher smiles at you and understands. Because, inside, she’s a sixth grader, too.

Dedicated to Matthew who is leaving me to go on to middle school at a private school. I know he is ready. I know I have prepared him for this day, but I also know that inside he will still be 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10.

–Margaret Simon, after Sandra Cisneros

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A Speck of Dust

Posted in Spiritual Growth, Writing, tagged Enneagram, Matthew 7:1-5, Richard Rohr, spiritual reflection on May 14, 2015| 5 Comments »

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Holly Mueller invites you and me to contemplate our spiritual journey each week. This week she tweeted the theme: “Hypocrisy based on Matthew 7:1-5.” This verse is the one about taking the log out of your own eye before you notice the speck in someone else’s. Since I am already pretty good at beating myself up over the tiniest speck, I wasn’t looking forward to dealing with the proverbial plank.

I subscribe to a few inspiration emails. One is the Ennea-thought of the day which asks me to pay attention to the faults of my personality type. Some days this email just makes me mad. Others, I say “Oh, yeah, that,” and others days I carry the inspiration around with me. Especially when it is affirming. I liked May 11: “Remember, that at your best, you are profoundly creative and self-revealing.”

This one was not as affirming. “Remember that your key motivations are to be yourself, to find the meaning of your life, and to take care of your emotional needs before attending to anything else.” I like that I want to be myself and find meaning, but to meet my own emotional needs before anyone else’s seems a bit selfish. The speck is growing.

Then there’s this wonderful gift called Grace. God wants to be with us at every moment of the day. We cannot see this gift when our vision is clouded by specks. So I must not only be true to myself, but I must also be aware when myself is getting in the way of grace.

Holidays tend to be particularly difficult for my overly emotional self. I wallow in the should haves. Mother’s Day was becoming a sad day for me, and with no rhyme or reason. I am a mother of three beautiful young women. I have a mother who is healthy and wise and loving. I have a mother-in-law who claims me as her daughter and wants to spend time with me.

In the midst of my self-imposed sadness, I got a phone call from a friend who I haven’t talked to in a while. She’s been having a rough time. She lost her only son years ago and is currently going through a divorce. And here she was, calling me to wish me a happy Mother’s Day. I said, “This must be a tough day for you.”

She responded completely opposite of what I expected. (Who was I to call attention to that little speck?) She told me she was blessed to have been chosen to be a mother for 21 years. She was not mourning. She was rejoicing in God’s gift. May I be so wise as to rejoice in God’s ever-present grace each and every day.

From Richard Rohr’s Center for Action and Contemplation

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Seeking Grace, not Perfection

Posted in Spiritual Growth, tagged grace, Spiritual poetry on May 7, 2015| 6 Comments »

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Image created in Canva. Photo taken by Maggie Simon in New Orleans. A sky writer send messages of hope.

Perfect is an imperfect word
with its soft purr beginning
to its hard -fect ending.
It crashes down on you
at the worst possible moments
when everything is clear as mud
and life has offered lemons.
Perfection is illusive
as the light shining through
the stained glass window,
pointing the way one minute
and spreading shards of colors the next.
I choose not to follow you, perfection.
I will find a path littered with debris,
broken into pieces by storms and crashing waves.
I will seek grace,
that smooth silky word that whispers softly
and leads me to knowing the one
whose spirit is in us all
seeking only love and to be loved.

–Margaret Simon, all rights reserved

When Holly tweeted out the theme for the week, “Let’s get real, no need to be perfect,” I rolled the word perfect around on my tongue. I didn’t like the taste. On Michelle Hendrick Barnes site, Today’s Little Ditty, she interviewed Nikki Grimes and put out a poetry challenge to write a wordplay poem. Perfect was not one of the words suggested, but I liked the idea of thinking about the word itself. For me, the process led to a deeper realization (which is often the way when writing poetry) that perfection is not what God wants from us. Grace is a gift given by God always, whether or not we are perfect. Grace is never taken away. It is our choice to respond to this gift with our works, our prayers, and our love. Stop seeking perfection. Look instead for the light of grace in your life, and say thanks.

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Be Still and Know

Posted in Poetry, Spiritual Growth, tagged #DigiPoetry, poem movie, spiritual journey, stillness on April 30, 2015| 3 Comments »

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When you take the time to be truly still, how do you feel? Do you keep multiple tabs open so if one website is taking its time loading, you can be reading another one? Do you multi-task? While you are eating, do you read or watch TV?

More and more our society demands our constant activity. When I work out at the gym, I can plug my headphones in and watch TV or listen to my iPod. When I am driving, the radio plays. I have a little notebook in the console of my car to make lists on. I am rarely without my cell phone.

I crave quiet and stillness but in all honesty, rarely do I allow myself this luxury. What I need to understand is that God will not come in when it’s noisy. The Spirit wants my quiet time. The Holy One begs me to slow down and listen.

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

Writing poetry also requires my silence, my listening, my opened and uncluttered mind. I love to take a walk in the park and absorb the colors, the scents, the fresh air, and make it poetry. In the spirit of stillness, spring, and digital poetry, here is an original poem movie entitled, “Come Out, Green.”

Use this button created by Leigh Anne Eck to post your Digital Poetry this month.

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Family

Posted in Poetry, Spiritual Growth, tagged digital poetry, family, spiritual journey on April 23, 2015| 2 Comments »

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Use this button created by Leigh Anne Eck to post your Digital Poetry this month.

Holly Mueller leads us to spiritual reflection each week. This week the theme is family. I didn’t think I could write a poem about family without being trite or cliché. Sometimes cliché just happens, and this is one of those times.

Family is a full cup
overflowing
with nourishing water
a twist of lemon.

Family is a dog,
four cats,
an occasional frog.

Family is photo albums
in the antique armoire
saving the years.

Family is a favorite restaurant
where they know your name.

Family is a daily text,
Facetime, calling Bluetooth,
feeling close together
while far apart
knowing there is no place like home
and no friend like family.

–Margaret Simon

Last night I happened upon a Twitter chat for #TCRWP. Someone mentioned using PicLit, so in the spirit of digital poetry, I tried it out. The first picture that came up was the Bean in Chicago where we have posed a few family pictures. The word family was not listed, so I used people instead.

See the full PicLit at PicLits.com