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Yesterday I bought roses at the grocery store. I placed them in a vase. One broke off the stem. My cat is eating another one. This is not part of the plan. The roses were supposed to bring me joy. They were supposed to open up and shine like the sun in my breakfast room. But no.
I could fix this. I could rearrange them. Take out the messed up flowers. Place them away from kitty’s perch.
Mimi wants to eat my roses.
So it is with God’s plan. Roses in a vase that get messed up, fall over, die.
Why do we keep looking for a plan? There isn’t one. Sorry folks. The God that I know and love is not upstairs looking down with his clipboard checking off when I do something that is part of the plan. Nope. Not happening.
My mother gave me a set of CDs of Richard Rohr and Russ Hudson discussing the Enneagram and Grace. What they say about the human condition and God’s part in it makes sense to me. What God is about is transformation. God is already a part of each of us. His spirit is within us all. We are the ones who need to change. We have to sit quietly with God and allow his grace to transform us.
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14
Someone I love dearly is in terrible pain. Her illness is not in God’s plan. I cannot accept that excuse. Pain happens. Tragedy happens. A deranged boy can enter a church and kill nine beautiful souls. There is no plan.
We enter the darkness. We enter the tragedy, the sorrow, the pain. There, we find God. Then we can crawl out on the other side. Then we can shine a light. Then we can be the resurrection.
I must make myself humble, the size of a mustard seed. Plant it deep in the soil of God’s love. Then I will grow. I will spread love. I will be transformed.
Rain
with a borrowed line from Kazim Ali “The sky is a bowl of dark water, rinsing your face.”Blue Jay sings to the rain,
“See you. See you. Come. Come.”The sky is a bowl of dark water,
The deck covered in crystal glass.I step outside in the rain.
Let it rinse my face.Join the bird in a song
that turns to a sad tune.No matter. My face is wet
with God’s tears. I am the rain.
–Margaret Simon
A beautiful poem. I don’t see the rain as crying, I see it as nourishing, bathing, soothing, unless violent. Rain, to me has many faces.
Our perspective has everything to do with where we are. Tears or nourishing. God is in the now.
This is very beautiful, Margaret. Thank you. And your kitty with the broken roses makes me smile. She has a plan, and it looks like fun! 🙂
Margaret, there is such a soulful quality to this post. The psalm definitely spoke to me as did your poem. I, too, will miss SPJ Thursdays but will continue to explore my thoughts each #ThankfulThursday.
Margaret, I hear you. I hear your pain as you explore the world’s pain. To say God has a plan, though, doesn’t mean He is checking off a list or causing terrible things to happen. He doesn’t cause those things; His plan for good is happening in spite of those things. Those things are happening because of a fallen world – that’s why we need Him. Even the result of the church killings have shown us God – the powerful offerings of forgiveness from the families of the victims. Only God can do that. There are your ideas, my ideas, and God’s ideas. I’m sure that His ideas are more complicated and powerful and amazing than any of us can comprehend. The bottom line is that I want to be a part of it no matter what, and I know you do, too! 🙂
Thanks for the singing bowls meditation. This is the line I love from your post: “We have to sit quietly with God and allow his grace to transform us.” And the pic of your kitty – delightful.
What is it about cats and flowers!
Letting go of the plan, our apparent control, is so hard. Letting it just be, and having faith in what will be is a big step. It is about faith and perhaps in growing up too. I love your thought about becoming small, humble and planting ourselves deep, having faith it will grow.
It’s hard to think that there is no one in control. But recently I’ve seen it all too well. I want to live faithful, but the only way to do that is humble myself and admit I do not know anything.
Thank you, Margaret. I *really* needed to hear this today. As the parent of teens, my life is all about letting go of the need to plan and be in charge. I love the way the speaker in your poem embraces the rain.
It wasn’t God’s plan to allow that boy to do what he did. I know like you God will use this to His glory. What he meant for evil, God will and is turning to good. I love that when we come out the other side, we can be the resurrection. It is painful this process of giving up control, being humble, and letting God change us.