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Posts Tagged ‘mother-of-the-bride’

Join the Two Writing Teachers blog for the Slice of Life Challenge.

Join the Two Writing Teachers blog for the Slice of Life Challenge.

As many of you know, my middle daughter was married this weekend.  This was one of the happiest days of my life.  Today, I can barely see through my blurry eyes.  I am recalling all the advice I received as a mother-of-the-bride.  Most of it was unsolicited and tended to make me feel like a total failure.  However, this weekend, my daughter told me something entirely different.  A snippet of her note to me:

Without you, I wouldn’t be the woman I am.  Without you, I wouldn’t know what a real, true, and loving marriage is…

I have compiled my own Top Ten list of advice:

  1. When you don’t know what to say, say thanks.
  2. Don’t sweat the small stuff.  So much of it is small stuff.
  3. Love much!
  4. Pee when you can.
  5. Family is who shows up.
  6. Invite the talent of those in your circle.
  7. Hydrate (see #4)
  8. Everything around you is an expression of love.
  9. Let people be nice to you.
  10. Love much! (That one bears repeating)
The day after, left overs, flowers, and snapshots.

The day after, left overs, flowers, and snapshots.

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Join the Two Writing Teachers blog for Tuesdays Slice of Life Challenge.

Join the Two Writing Teachers blog for Tuesdays Slice of Life Challenge.

I continue to be the worst mother-of-the-bride. This time I laughed until I cried.

My daughter Katherine is planning to get married next fall. She has put me in charge of music. She wanted her father and me to choose a band that we would enjoy dancing to. This is very thoughtful of her because she appreciates that we are Zydeco/ Cajun band snobs experts.

I, too, love classical music and especially the violin. My grandmother for whom I was named was a violinist. Even though I never met her or heard her play, I feel a chill on my spine when I hear a violin solo.

In both the Cajun and Zydeco traditions, the violin, called the fiddle, is a prominent instrument. One of my favorite Cajun musicians is Michael Doucet of Beau Soliel. He is also one of my favorite people ever since I taught his son 18 or so years ago.

borrowed from Facebook

borrowed from Facebook

Michael Doucet is fairly famous in the music world. He’s won a few grammies. He’s recorded umpteen albums. He performs at local festivals, but also on stages all over the world. Garrison Keillor has dubbed Beau Soliel “the best Cajun band in the world.”

I decided on a whim to send Michael Doucet a Facebook message expressing my sincere wish that he would be available to play for the ceremony. Even though I feel he is a friend, I was nervous about asking such a famous musician to play for our little wedding.

A day or so later, I got a response, “Well you have certainly given me enough notice.” Hmm, I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He hadn’t said yes or no. I just didn’t respond.

The other night on the way home from the movie, I checked my Facebook messenger on my phone. Still feeling weird about his response, I decided to look at it again. It was then that I realized I had messaged Michael Dardant, not Michael Doucet.

You know how FB predicts who you are writing a message to? I’m sure that’s what happened. I typed in Michael D and clicked on the first name that came up. Duh! (head thump!)

Michael Dardant

Michael Dardant may be planning what he will do for Katherine’s wedding. Apparently he has done a wedding before. I have written about him here on this blog. He’s Magic Mike, the world famous MAGICIAN!

I sent Katherine a text, “How would you feel about having a magician at your wedding?”

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Join the Two Writing Teachers blog for Tuesdays Slice of Life Challenge.

Join the Two Writing Teachers blog for Tuesdays Slice of Life Challenge.

I will not be winning this year’s prize for the best Mother-of-the-Bride. I forgot to buy the book, and all of a sudden, I have a daughter getting married. I know that a mother with three daughters should be some sort of expert. I think I have a brain block or some other force at work keeping me from doing the right thing.

On Thursday, daughter number one, number two, and I rented a Ford Explorer in New Orleans and over two days drove to Chicago to pack up daughter number three and haul her back to South Louisiana. In early August, Katherine (daughter two) and Wayne became engaged. She pinned a designer dress and thought why not go try on wedding dresses while we are in Chicago. She made the appointment for 4:30 PM on Friday. So we had to leave Memphis in the early morning to make it.

What I didn’t know was we first had to check in at the hotel. We made it through crazy traffic (I was not driving, thank God.) The girls had to freshen up and change for the occasion. Maggie (daughter one) said, “Are you wearing THAT?” I was in my cropped jeans and a t-shirt. Proper traveling clothes, but apparently not proper shopping-for-a-wedding-dress clothes.

“What’s wrong? I didn’t know I was supposed to dress up.”

“Where have you been, Mom? They may serve us champagne!”

“Well, all I have are these hospital pants.” I call them my hospital pants because they are so comfortable that I wore them overnight in the hospital.

“That’s better than jeans.”

“How was I supposed to know this was a dress-up occasion?”

“Don’t you watch TV? Bridesmaids, duh!”

We head over in an Uber to the appointment and make it only 5 minutes late.

Another thing I forgot to read in The Idiot’s Guide to being the Mother of the Bride was how to properly respond to your daughter in a wedding gown. Apparently you are supposed to know which one is The One, and you are supposed to cry when you see it. I didn’t cry. In fact, I made a comment about lace. This first comment cannot be taken back. Over and over I have said, “If this is the one you want, you should get it.” But it doesn’t help. She cannot erase my first response.

For the record, I did tear up when she put on the veil. I properly held my hand over my mouth and exclaimed, “Oh my!”

In the end, we all had a good time. No champagne, but the other daughters got in on the fun and tried on dresses they loved. I texted a picture to my husband, and he responded, “Scary.” Scary, and crazy, and fun.

Martha and Maggie try on wedding gowns that they loved. (The actual bride to be is not pictured. That's a no no. I'm learning.)

Martha and Maggie try on wedding gowns that they loved. (The actual bride to be is not pictured. That’s a no no. I’m learning.)

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