I hope you have been following the Progressive Poem. Today I am adding a line. This amazing interactive poetry community builder is the brilliant invention of Irene Latham.
It all started with Heidi at My Juicy Little Universe when she introduced a first person character with fidget, friction,and ragged edges. Mary Lee let the idea of F words dance back into the poem with “facing the day as my fickle, freckled self.” Then Janet set me up the steps to the stage.
I placed myself in the narrator’s shoes, climbing the stairs to the stage. What else would I feel except pure fright? So with alliteration dancing in my head, my blow dryer blew out this line. Every good story needs a conflict, right? Here you go, Jan, have fun with this fidgety, freckled, frightened storyteller. What will he/she do next? Look at the link up in my side bar to follow this poem through its journey.
I’m fidget, friction, ragged edges—
I sprout stories that frazzle-dazzle,
stories of castles, of fires that crackle,
with dragonwords that smoke and sizzle.But edges sometimes need sandpaper,
like swords need stone and clouds need vapour.
So I shimmy out of my spurs and armour
facing the day as my fickle, freckled self.I thread the crowd, wear freedom in my smile,
and warm to the coals of conversation.
Enticed to the stage by strands of story,
I skip up the stairs in anticipation.
Flip around, face the crowd, and freeze!
Wow, that’s some nasty case of stage fright! You’ve left me on the edge of my seat, Margaret—dying to know what’s on the tip of his tongue.
Ha! Brilliant job, Margaret! Conflict, indeed. 🙂 xo
Nice! Ruth, thereisnosuchthingasagodforsakentown.blogspot.com
Oh wow, you’ve given us a wonderful “now what?”. And more ‘f’ words!
Such a fun line, wonder if that flipping around had anything to do with the blow dryer and your hair flipping around. Love the continuing alliteration. I can’t wait to see where she/he goes from here.
Oh, terrific, Margaret. I love that FREEZE. A turn, a conflict, a question…..and those F sounds, I did the S sounds, so glad you returned to F. (My dad’s initials, by the way……just shows how we connect to things on multiple (and unexpected) levels. Especially small kids who are asked some tough questions on these hard tests.)
Love the way you’ve changed the story in one line–brilliant! And what will our narrator do now?!
Fabulous! This gels so well.
Center stage, how exciting! Great line for the next stanza.
well done, Margaret! you’ve placed the ball, definitively, in Jan’s court.
oh, my gosh…..now what?! We need a campfire for this. This is too much fun to read alone!
Hooray for the alliterative Fs!!!
Terrific, Margaret – and there’s a connection with the poem Doraine is sharing at the end of her Poetry Friday blog post for tomorrow! :0)
With that severe stage fright, you’re certainly leaving plenty of opportunity for Jan to flesh out the story, tomorrow!
Perfection! Now what???
[…] and Her Jots 11 Ramona at Pleasures from the Page 12 Janet F. at Live Your Poem 13 Margaret at Reflections on the Teche 14 Jan at Bookseedstudio 15 Brenda at Friendly Fairy Tales (Ta da!) 16 Joy at Poetry for Kids Joy […]
Coming back to thank you for finding a way to rebalance the poem back to the original rough-edged angsty challenge we were threatening to lost, WHILE respecting the storyline. Genius!
Thank, Heidi. Your feedback means a lot. This just came to me out of my own fear. That’s the way poetry is, completely soul-driven.
Hello late! I had commented but see it is not here! (Catching up past this date and ON this date now!) How I love this moment…and this alliteration fun. Excited to keep going…thank you!! xx