I am a writer. I am a poet. I am also a failure every day.
There is a myth about publishing, that once you get published, the writing becomes easier. I know that can’t be true. I’ve read enough blogs from authors to know this, but I’ve had days recently in which I’ve felt like I’ll never write another good poem. Ever.
I think the problem lies in how I am approaching my writing life these days. I expect to be motivated. I expect the words to come. And when they don’t, I feel a flood of failure. The kind that whispers in my head, “You will never write again.”
I’ve had writing partners go through this and my advice is always, give it time, take a break, go for a walk. These are all things I give myself permission to do, but when it goes on for days and days, it’s cause for concern.
Early in the morning sitting with my coffee and Charlie on my lap, I looked outside and said to myself, “How is it the cypress trees know that it’s September?”
I didn’t have my notebook. It was in my school bag in the trunk of my car. I didn’t want to go outside with bare feet to get it. And besides, I was worried the muse would escape if I did that. So I grabbed a nearby pad of paper and wrote a quick poem. This simple response relieved my writer’s block. Still when I went back to my work in progress, things were no better, but I calmed my disdain with my new poem. I got up and went to the study where I keep the old typewriter my son-in-law bought me at an estate sale and plinked the September poem, cut it out, and glued it into a beautiful handmade journal I reserve for these private musings. Ah, there.
This post made me smile. There’s not enough time to spend it worrying. Happy fall–you’ve captured it perfectly.
I think many other writers will appreciate the honesty and transparency of your words today, Margaret. It’s good to be reminded that the writing process will continue to challenge us. I’m glad you didn’t go to the car for your journal. Your poem is perfect just as it is!
It is always funny to me what can get us out of our own thinking and refocus us! Thanks for sharing!
https://tammysreadinglife.wordpress.com/2018/09/11/fusing-my-life-bubbles/
Wonderful! The effort you put into typing it out, old-style, and gluing it into its place of honor makes it all the better.
My own private publishing! Thanks.
Thank you for sharing your struggles. I’m so NEW at this – and so tentative. I am not tentative elsewhere in my life… and I’m hard on myself (I am hard on myself elsewhere, so that’s nothing new). It’s good to read that these struggles are normal – even though I know it, it’s good to read it again. And I really like reading about how you pushed through and your physical way of honoring your muse. Thank you.
I love the raw truths and inherent courage in your opening lines! And the simplicity of the poem – stunning on many levels. Cypress is one of my favorite things, so symbolic, ancient. A return to the earth … yes … we humans used to live in much greater communion with it than we do now. I could keep going — just thank you for the clean, elegiac beauty of your words.