In May the flowers appear and the end of the school year rushes up like the ground when a plane is landing. The fears and doubts niggle at you. Have I done enough? Have I reached who I needed to reach? The beauty and curse of it is that you have, and you will also never know. The moments that mattered most to others are rarely the ones we remember. The encouragement and guidance teachers give moment to moment is as unconscious as breathing. And students will go on just living their lives, holding on to a moment or two of encouragement from you that you’ve missed in the midst.
I walk past the countdown every day. 10 more days of school. One of my students asked me last week if I would put a countdown on the board, and I told her, “I don’t like countdowns. It’s just a reminder that I am going to miss you.”
There are so many things to do in May. Paperwork, cleaning, packing… I’m not into it.
Don’t get me wrong, once summer is here, I’ll be enjoying sleeping in, reading a good book, visiting my parents in Mississippi, and walks with Charlie. This summer I have the added benefit of time with my new grandson. All that is good, but I wish we didn’t have to go through May to get there.
In May, I question if I’ve done enough.
In May, I wonder who will watch out for my students’ reading and writing growth over the summer.
In May, I feel a sense of losing my grip. Slip-sliding to the end.
My friend Christina Nosek of Literacy Learning is doing a blog series on the last 20 days, about how she is making learning happen each and every day. I admire this. I envy her self-contained classroom. With my itinerant status, I am never quite sure who will show up for class in the last weeks of school. There are a multitude of field trips and special days, and I’m often left out of the loop.
What I do know is that whoever shows up will read and write their way to the last day, with a few learning games thrown in. We will celebrate the reading we’ve done, write final blog posts, and plan for our summer reading. We will say goodbye, but many of my students I will teach again next year (the plus side of pull-out gifted).
May is here. I must face it. Head up. No crying. Hugs all around.
Oh, I love this post and how you’ve captured the May feelings. I was just chatting with my niece last night about those last few days. She’s down to three. Enjoy your time to read, refresh, and snuggle your grandson!
I agree.
I hate the count downs.
Love Christina’s posts maximizing time.
What else can I squeeze in?
One more practice.
One more reflection.
One more . . .
May IS hard! So many worries about what we haven’t done and what we still want or need to do. I do love your plan for these last days of instruction, though.
The final burst before crossing the finish line … natural to think about giving one’s all and “was I enough.” Long ago a colleague-friend said to me: “Don’t should on yourself.” Not to dwell on what I should have/should not have done, but to keep moving forward. That your students will read and write to the last day – that’s victorious! Celebration-worthy! Peace and joy to you these last weeks.Those impending walks with Charlie pull on my heartstrings. 🙂
Thanks for the reminder not to “should” on myself. It’s hard to maintain motivation and focus when temperatures rise and other activities draw our attention.
We have 27 days remaining and I’m already asking many of those questions. I also worry a lot in May about my teaching, about my students. I’m also wondering how I’m going to finish all those extra “must dos” before the end of the year—packing, ordering for next year, year end evaluations, reading assessments, grading, report card comments, etc. etc. etc. I love the idea of your friend’s posts emphasizing making each of these precious days full of learning and meaning, all the way to the last day. That’s a much better focus than a countdown calendar. Good luck with your final days in May.
You are doing such great work, Margaret.
“What I do know is that whoever shows up will read and write their way to the last day, with a few learning games thrown in. We will celebrate the reading we’ve done, write final blog posts, and plan for our summer reading.”
This is huge. This is such important work. May is tough. It takes a concerted effort to smile all the way through it. I think that’s part of why I decided to write about it. Writing, reflecting always helps.
Thanks for your words.
I am so touched by how you want to squeeze every spark of poem love out of May for those brilliant young minds but yet and how you anticipate your newish grand role this summer for the grand babe. Love the may day blooms which look fresh-picked!