I don’t remember who introduced me to Suleika Jaouad’s Isolation Journals email. Each week a prompt from a well-known writer is featured. This week the prompt comes from Elizabeth Benedict:
Hair is elemental. It can define us, confine us, refine us, and when we’re faced with losing it, through age or illness, it can undo us.
Write about your relationship to your hair: how it shapes your own self-image. How others see you. Or how, when you lost your hair or changed it, you learned something—about yourself or someone else.
Elizabeth Benedict, Isolation Journal #186
I started letting my hair go grey a few years ago. I had gotten to a point where I could color my hair and within just a few short weeks, the white strands around my temple reappeared. All my life I have told myself I wanted white hair like my grandmother. But when it came time to stop fighting the change, I wasn’t sure how. I decided to go cold turkey and totally stop coloring my hair.
My hair is pretty much all grey and white now, but I don’t see it that way. To me, it still looks blonde in the mirror. I am shocked by photos of me that show such stark white.
People in general compliment my hair color. Who knew that so many like grey hair? Google grey hair and you get an article from Glamour titled “Oyster-Gray Hair is the Coolest New Color Trend.”
My stylist recommended a purple shampoo to use once a week. At Christmas a friend “complimented” the lavender in my hair. As if it was purple on purpose. Yikes! So I cut back on the purple shampoo.
I think most women have a love/hate relationship with their hair. I grow it out then cut it short. Go all one length, then layers. But most of all I am grateful for my hair. I finally look like my dear grandma, Nene.
What is your relationship with your hair?
Reflections on the Teche 
Oh, what a treasure box full of experiences is my hair…the bane of my existence in the 50s and 60s when curly, frizzy hair was ‘ugly’ and in high school and beyond I slept on huge rollers to keep it sleek—only to resort to scarves in humid weather. Freed in the early seventies, my hair became my greatest appearance-related pleasure, big and curly and the envy of many. Then I kept it short for years, and during the pandemic, let it grow again. It has finally begun to grey (and those grays are straighter!) and thin to some extent, and I’ll simply try to adjust to the straightness if it comes…
I do remember with clarity the most special moment in my early I-hate-my-hair life: when I went to a salon to get my hair “done” for eighth grade graduation, the hairdresser said to me: “Don’t you know that every curl is a little angel riding with you? It makes you very special.” A touch of sweet kindness is so important.
I love your story “every curl is an angel”. I did not go as far back as my youth and how all I wanted for Christmas was a wig of long straight hair!
I let my hair go natural as the pandemic lock down started…not on purpose at first. But, after I had grown out enough, I decided there never would be a better time to grow out the gray. I do not love my gray – a mousey mix of dark gray and light gray, but I like the freedom to not worry about getting a color appointment!
Freedom, yes! I’m sure you are being more critical than need be. Aren’t we all?
Everything you write rings true about my relationship with my hair. Your writing shares the emotion we attach to our hair. I always said it’s the one thing that I can easily change about myself.
The prompt is beautiful — thank you for sharing. I loved reading about your relationship with your hair; as it changes, and you change with it. You have inspired me to try a prompt!
Hair is a perfect writing prompt, no matter your age. I’m not sure why it defines us so. I do love the gray on others. Haven’t gotten there for myself.
Lovely poem and very relatable topic. A few years back, I had no hair due to chemo. What first grew back was white and wild a la Einstein. Then came a coarse salt and pepper carpet on my head. Finally, the old texture returned. Without color, I wondered what it would become. My stylist says my hair is dark blonde underneath and white on top. In the right light, she tells me, the blonde shows through the white, and it still appears blonde. I’m always hoping for the right light!
In the right light,
white turns to gold
and defining lines disappear.
In the right light,
gravity loosens its grip
and curves soften.
In the right light,
smiles grow and
shadows shrink.
In the right light,
all faces wear love
and the world is at peace.
I don’t love my gray, but I do love not paying to change it! Like you, I have had a love/hate relationship with the length, style, colour, texture, etc.
I think this is a universal post – the love/hate relationship with hair. I’ll admit I chuckled at the purple. “As if it was purple on purpose” sounds like a line in a poem!
Hair is indeed a very generous writing topic. Something there for everyone. Thanks for introducing the Isolation Journal. That’s something I’ll want to check out. I enjoyed reading your musings on going gray.
Hi Margaret. I love my hair (usually) – especially now that I’ve let it go gray! It took 1.5 years to go natural – I have very dark, thick hair. I agree with Leigh Anne – you’ve written a relatable post. Thanks.
Twice this month Kim Johnson has complimented my hair on my blog; the irony is I have not been to the stylist since December, and I normally go every month. My stylist is very ill, and I can’t bring myself to see someone new. I’ve written about my gray hair a couple times. We’re lucky to live during a gray hair trend. I love playing w/ temporary hair color, such as pink and purple. Are you sure your shampoo is shampoo and not a temporary color? I’ve used many different brands of “purple” shampoo and like Parvana best. As an adult my relationship w/ my hair has been good overall, which is a credit to my amazing stylist. Have you thought about featuring your gray locks in your profile picture?
I really should change my profile picture. I honestly never think about it. I am using a shampoo, but I may have left it in my hair too long. Live and learn.
I love this and you have inspired me to write about my hair experiences in an upcoming slice!
What a beautiful meditation on hair! Insightful and thought provoking. I love your silver!
A woman’s relationship with her hair is primary. I always feel good if my hair looks good. I enjoyed your descriptive reflection and now, I want to slice about my hair. Thank you. Great quote, too!
I’ve never really colored my hair and it’s just sort of faded brown and grey now. What surprises me is when I look at old photos and am stunned by how dark brown my hair once was. That looks dyed to me now! lol I love that you feel connected to your grandmother with your grey hair. Great slice!
I love your gorgeous hair, Margaret! The women in my family go grey very early, so I’ve been coloring for many years! During the first 6 months of the pandemic, my salon ran a “Color to Go” program. You called a recorded line, left your request, they pulled your color card from the file and “tah dah!” At an arranged time, you drove by, and the salon owner handed you a bag with a bowl, brush, and a bottle with your color all ready to go. My husband actually enjoyed doing it for me until they reopened. We also cut each others’ hair a few times during those months. We still have lots of giggles (pandemic ones) over those times.
Margaret, I like your post about hair, and you have inspired me to give it a go before March is over. I like your oyster gray locks. (I did search for oyster gray and saw so many young people dying their hair gray. That was a surprise.) Cute photo with you and the Cat in the Hat.
Your hair looks amazing. I think you have inspired me to go properly grey instead of putting in highlights. Loved all the details in your post, it’s so interesting to get insight into personal details!
This is a great prompt. I would really like to let my hair go natural (it’s very white and gray now!) but I don’t know how to grow it out without losing my mind. Maybe I dye it gray and let that grow out?? Your hair is beautiful!