I was inspired by Michelle Kogan who wrote a pantoum for a hippo. I recalled the hippos of my Africa tour in 2016. I’ve been reading Margarita Engle’s verse novel Singing with Elephants. I collected lines from the verse and went to work on the pantoum form. This form is like a puzzle. Michelle fit hers together with rhyme. I didn’t use rhyme. When I googled pantoum, there doesn’t seem to be a rule about rhyme or line length. The rules show that each stanza is four lines with this pattern: (1,2,3,4) (2,5,4,6) (5,7,6,8) (7,3,8,1)
The Poetry Sisters respond to a challenge on the last Friday of the month. This month they are writing animal pantoums. Our host Tricia has more about the form and links to other Poetry Sisters posts.
The beauty of an elephant’s hum-hug,
a language as common as buzzing bees,
simple as spending time with kindness.
Elephants embrace us with their music.With a language as common as buzzing bees,
I can catch good luck as it passes.
Simple as spending time with kindness,
these animals move like magical mountains.I catch good luck as it passes:
Photo from Africa is a touchstone of memory.
These animals move like magical mountains
with a touch of heavy gentleness.My photo from Africa is a touchstone of memory,
Margaret Simon, with thanks to Margarita Engle and PÁDRAIG Ó TUAMA.
as simple as spending time with kindness–
A touch of heavy gentleness–
the beauty of an elephant’s hum-hug.
Oh I love that beginning and end line – “the beauty of an elephant’s hum-hug”
“Simple as spending time with kindness” — so lovely, Margaret!
Simple as spending time with kindness indeed! I feel the slow easy rhythm of these gentle walking mountains in every line of your poem. Wonderful!
There is definitely no rule about rhyming in the pantoum. I love how yours fits together like it’s own kind of music. I am intrigued by elephant music as well. Someday that I would love to hear…
“hum-hug” is a beautiful, resonant phrase! Thank you for sharing!
Beautiful elephants and beautiful pantoum!
How lovely to visit the elephants with you! I especially love “These animals move like magical mountains”–I can see the motion in my mind’s eye.
Oh, how I love “hum-hug!”
Oh, Margaret, there are so many wonderful images here. “Hum-hug” and moving “magical mountains” and “A touch of heavy gentleness–” Wow. And that photo–what a joy to have that touchstone. I’m not familiar with the sounds of elephants except for the trumpet, but right now I am listening to a video with deep rumbles (hum-hugs, I think).
People share so much about elephant’s caring for each other and their babies, and now, you, too, Margaret! I love “as simple as spending time with kindness–”, for us all!
Margaret, your line choices developed beautifully as they played with new ones in each successive stanza. Nicely done, and we love elephants, don’t we?I’ve been revisiting BRAIDING SWEETGRASS and I’m enjoying the idea that elephants are my kin….
Love!
Such a lovely and intimate poem. I love that gentle heaviness ❤