Spiritual Growth | Reflections on the Teche

Archive for the ‘Spiritual Growth’ Category

Mercy on me Every Day

Posted in Spiritual Growth, Writing, tagged confession of sin, mercy on October 8, 2015| 3 Comments »

Join the Spiritual Thursday round up at Reading, Teaching, Learning.

Mercy, we all need it. Every week during our Sunday service I kneel and say the confession of sin.

Most merciful God,
we confess that we have sinned against you
in thought, word, and deed,
by what we have done,
and by what we have left undone.
We have not loved you with our whole heart;
we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves.
We are truly sorry and we humbly repent.
For the sake of your Son Jesus Christ,
have mercy on us and forgive us;
that we may delight in your will,
and walk in your ways,
to the glory of your Name. Amen.

Some days, however, this prayer is incomplete. Mercy is more than forgiveness. Mercy is relationship with God. We need mercy even when we have not left things undone. We need mercy even when we’ve loved our neighbor. We need mercy because we love God with all our heart, our mind, our strength. We need mercy.

Most merciful God,
help me to speak the words of kindness.
Guide my thinking toward goodness.

Help me see the light that shines in everyone’s heart;
I will see You there.

Fill my thoughts with truth; Give me grace to know when
to reach out
and when to step back.

Show me your light; Help me stand in its glow,
not in its shadow.

I need your mercy,
love, and patience
every day.

I am yours and You are mine.
We are in this together.
Have mercy on me.

–Margaret Simon

Read Full Post »

Patience with the Artist

Posted in Spiritual Growth, Writing, tagged art lessons, patience, spiritual journey on September 24, 2015| 4 Comments »

Join the Spiritual Thursday round up at Reading, Teaching, Learning.

Each day is a little life; every waking and rising a little birth; every fresh morning a little youth; every going to rest and sleep a little death.

– ARTHUR SCHOPENHAUER

When Holly tweeted out the theme for this week, patience, I was finishing my second art lesson. I have been trying to be an artist my whole life. My father is an artist, and I want to grow up to be like him. Art takes patience. And I am not sure I have what it takes.

During this second lesson, our instructor asked us to draw an image from a photograph. He wanted us to use shading to show form. He said the word form over and over again. I think he became frustrated with me, but you would never know it. He has a calm demeanor. Patience is so important to any kind of teaching.

I wasn’t quite sure how to start or how to proceed. I was stuck with what I knew before of contour drawing. I was not familiar with his method. So he took my tablet and drew, hatching and shading. The drawing that looked like a cartoon to me began to take shape and form. I was watching a miracle. I still have no idea how to make that happen when the pencil is in my own hand.

Patience.
I have no patience with myself.
I want to be good now, but I avoid the practice that it takes.

In our limited human minds, we see bits and pieces of the whole. We see small miracles every day. God can see the whole. God knows the big picture. God is our artist.

In my impatience, I want to know now. I want to be good and right and perfect. Ah, me. That is not possible. The only real perfection is with God. In the meantime, I will continue to strive for the best, trying to remember that the Great Artist isn’t finished with me yet.

“Don’t look at your feet to see if you are doing it right. Just dance.”
― Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life

Not my bird

Read Full Post »

My Church

Posted in Spiritual Growth, Writing, tagged church, spiritual journey on September 17, 2015| 5 Comments »

Join the Spiritual Thursday round up at Reading, Teaching, Learning.

Church of the Epiphany, New Iberia, Louisiana

Have you ever driven someplace on auto-pilot, getting there and not remembering how you got there? On Sunday morning I turn on auto-pilot. The only decision I have to make is what to wear, because attending church is automatic for me. I just do it.

I grew up going to church every Sunday. When I went to college, I chose LSU because of the Episcopal student center. I joined the music group. We sang folk songs to guitar and piano. For the Eucharist on Sunday night, we would gather around the altar in a circle and pass the bread and wine to each other. This service was intimate and sincere.

I also love a high church service complete with smells and bells, a full four-part choir with men and women processing in robes, banners waving.

The church I attend weekly is a historical Episcopal church dating back to 1857. The sanctuary was used as a hospital in the Civil War. We still have two of the pews that were used as horse troughs. You can see the holes that were bored for drainage. I sing in the choir loft that was once a loft for slaves. If the walls and windows and pews could speak…

Why church? Not because I’ve always gone. Not because of the building or the traditions.

Church is home. Church is community.
Church is a place where God is always present.
I go to church because I would feel incomplete without it.

The words inspire me.
The people love me.
The Eucharist nourishes me.

Read Full Post »

Freedom

Posted in Spiritual Growth, Writing, tagged freedom, Spiritual poetry on September 10, 2015| 6 Comments »

Join the Spiritual Thursday round up at Reading, Teaching, Learning.

I attended a poetry workshop in which the leader asked us to write using concrete images about an abstract idea. Ah, sometimes that is quite a challenge. Today, Holly asks us to reflect on Freedom for our Spiritual Thursday posts. Freedom is an abstract term that comes with all kinds of connotations.

What is the image of freedom?
The soaring eagle,
A couple in a convertible with the top down, wind in their hair,
praying hands,
a breaking wave on the shore of the sea,
a child on a swing, leaning back, legs high in the air,
or is freedom more complicated than that?

We look to our flag to symbolize our country’s freedom.
We look to words “All men are created equal.”
We look to God.
But our questions remain unanswered,
hanging there in the air of inequality,
oppression, discontent.
What is freedom, really?
What is the ultimate price?
When will we see the image of true peace?

Freedom is the laughter of a child,
the scent of jasmine on a summer walk,
a hug between friends.
Freedom is elusive and right in the palm of our hands.
We can embrace the word, hold fast to our convictions,
and fly the flag. But until the whole of humanity
lives in peace, freedom will not be free.

Read Full Post »

Pay Attention

Posted in Spiritual Growth, Teaching, tagged pay attention, Spiritual poetry, spiritual reflection on September 3, 2015| 6 Comments »

Join the Spiritual Thursday round up at Reading, Teaching, Learning.

I came home from school the other day with a story. I was helping with car line duty and enjoying two girls who were last to be picked up. I talked to them about their matching green eyes. I teased them that the sugarcane tractor on the highway was coming to pick them up. Then an old car pulled up and inside was an unkempt woman with a scowl on her face. Could this be the mother of these precious children? Her expression never changed as the girls bounded up to the car and greeted her with a cheerful, “Hi, Momma.”

When I told my husband this story, I said, “I judged her.”

He said, “We judge people. We pay attention. And when you are someone who pays attention, you see lots of ugly in the world. If you are paying attention, you also see lots of beauty. The world is both terrible and beautiful.”

I have a wise husband. His words have stayed with me all week.

As I worked with a student who was having trouble writing, I kept making suggestions. “What about this? What about that?” I told him to come to me with his long, sad face,and I simply said, “Can you tell me the truth about why you are not writing?”

He said, “I don’t want to write what you said.”

In my eagerness to “help,” I had actually stifled him.

“I get it. You want to write about your own ideas. Absolutely, that is what you should do.”

I must pay attention. This is my work. This is my vocation. This is my calling.

When I pay attention, I see
The way the setting sun sends a beam down the bayou.
I see colors in the sky (more than just blue),
A shy boy standing near the wall at recess,
Birds on a wire,
The man with a cane wince in pain,
Green-eyed girls,
A teacher’s tired impatience,
Sunflowers in the sunlight,
A driver’s insulting gesture.
I see the good.
I see the bad.
But I don’t stop
paying attention–
this is my endless and proper work.

Read Full Post »

Words Matter

Posted in Blogging, Spiritual Growth, tagged Bonnie Kaplan, Wendell Berry, words matter on August 27, 2015| 7 Comments »

Join the Spiritual Thursday round-up at Reading, Teaching, Learning.

Holly leads the round-up of Spiritual Thursday posts, and she usually tweets out a topic early in the week. This week she told us to write about what is on our hearts.

I am thinking about words, the power of what you say. I am an introvert and as such, I usually think about what I am going to say before I say it, or more likely, think about what I should have said.

Why did I say that? I sounded so arrogant. What must she think of me?

I can mull over a conversation for days. I calm myself with self talk. She probably has totally forgotten about it by now. Don’t worry. Remember you are forgiven.

During Sunday’s sermon, Fr. Matt reminded us that words matter. He told a story of a father and son who when the father was close to dying, they learned to say “I love you” to each other. He continued by giving us 5 things you should say to a loved one who is dying: 1. I love you. 2. I forgive you. 3. Will you forgive me? 4. Thank you. 5. You can go now.

Sometimes when your world grows, your heart grows too. I now have a world of friends through blogging and connecting online with Facebook and Twitter. One of these friends lost her husband this week. I cannot know the grief that Bonnie Kaplan is going through, but I am sure she spoke these important words to her husband. Through her words on her blog, she exposed her breaking heart. Those of us who read her letters to Tuvia on the days from heart failure to death know that she spoke the words that matter.

When someone dies, we are sadly reminded that words do matter. But we should know this every day. Let’s say the words we feel to the ones we love. Don’t wait until tragedy comes. Breathe them out with every breath–I love you, I forgive you, I thank you…every day.

Below is a video posted by Bonnie in which she reads a love poem by ee cummings to Tuvia, “I Carry your Heart.”

Read Full Post »

Don’t Forget to Breathe

Posted in Spiritual Growth, tagged Lamaze breath, meditation, spritiual breathing, yoga on August 20, 2015| 1 Comment »

Join the Spiritual Thursday round up at Reading, Teaching, Learning.

During an exercise class, the instructor says, “Don’t forget to breathe,” as if you could actually forget. This seems like a silly instruction, but nine times out of ten, I realize at the moment she says it, I am holding my breath.

In yoga, I am learning breath is the most important thing. The teacher says, “Get in tune with the rhythm of your yoga breath.” I place my hands on my belly and feel it rise. Deep breathing relieves the tensions of my day.

Breath control is used to alleviate pain. I had a procedure done recently that required an IV (no worries, I am fine), and the nurse had a hard time finding a vein. That is so painful. I was using my Lamaze breath. The nurse noticed. It’s been almost 25 years since my youngest child was born, but I still remember how to breathe through pain.

In church, we sing a hymn, “Breathe on me, breath of God. Fill me with life anew. That I may love what Thou dost loved, and do what thou wouldst do.”

I believe in the power of breathing. The calm healing that oxygen brings in. Breath moves within me as the spirit moves. Taking in, I call God, “Abba.” Letting go, I say, “Amen.”

Focusing on a mantra, breathing the words that recall God to me, I can be fully present with whatever the stress may be.

Read Full Post »

Spiritual Thursday: Is it enough to pray?

Posted in Spiritual Growth, tagged prayer, students on August 13, 2015| 4 Comments »

Join the Spiritual Thursday round up at Reading, Teaching, Learning.

Holly invites us to think about our spiritual journey. This week her theme could not have been more appropriate for the beginning of school, praying for our students.

Prayer is not enough. I am in no way discounting prayer. Sometimes it’s all you can do. But there are times when God calls on you to do more. This week was one of those times.

I don’t know why God chose me. I became the confidant of the mother of one of my students. Perhaps it was something I said in a conference with her. Perhaps it was her daughter’s trust in me. Maybe my phone number was the only teacher’s number she had. For whatever reason, I was the one who received her desperate call for help.

Many times over the course of the last few days, I have held my prayer hands pressed against my forehead. “God, give me your strength.”

Sometimes prayer is not enough.

This time I had to act. I had to turn to administrators, authorities, and counselors. I could not do this alone. I had to stay strong to tell her to stay strong. My precious student’s family was falling apart. It was not enough for me to pray. I held her tight. I helped her tell her classmates. I gave her someone to trust, someone to lean on, someone to be her advocate.

Jesus was called “teacher.” Teacher means more than educating a child. A teacher should be a stronghold for her students. She must create a safe environment. She should be open and flexible while respecting policy and authority.

Teaching is an act of the heart. My students become important in my life. Their families are important to me. Their lives are important.

In prayer, we can bring our students close to us, close to God. In action, we can express to each and every child that they matter, their lives matter. Our words should be carefully chosen, spoken with love and kindness. Because someday God may call us to action, to be His voice, and to save a child.

Read Full Post »

There is No Plan

Posted in Poetry, Spiritual Growth, Writing, tagged Enneagram, spiritual journey on June 25, 2015| 10 Comments »

Join the Spiritual Thursday round up at Reading, Teaching, Learning.

Yesterday I bought roses at the grocery store. I placed them in a vase. One broke off the stem. My cat is eating another one. This is not part of the plan. The roses were supposed to bring me joy. They were supposed to open up and shine like the sun in my breakfast room. But no.

I could fix this. I could rearrange them. Take out the messed up flowers. Place them away from kitty’s perch.

Mimi wants to eat my roses.

So it is with God’s plan. Roses in a vase that get messed up, fall over, die.

Why do we keep looking for a plan? There isn’t one. Sorry folks. The God that I know and love is not upstairs looking down with his clipboard checking off when I do something that is part of the plan. Nope. Not happening.

My mother gave me a set of CDs of Richard Rohr and Russ Hudson discussing the Enneagram and Grace. What they say about the human condition and God’s part in it makes sense to me. What God is about is transformation. God is already a part of each of us. His spirit is within us all. We are the ones who need to change. We have to sit quietly with God and allow his grace to transform us.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14

Someone I love dearly is in terrible pain. Her illness is not in God’s plan. I cannot accept that excuse. Pain happens. Tragedy happens. A deranged boy can enter a church and kill nine beautiful souls. There is no plan.

We enter the darkness. We enter the tragedy, the sorrow, the pain. There, we find God. Then we can crawl out on the other side. Then we can shine a light. Then we can be the resurrection.

I must make myself humble, the size of a mustard seed. Plant it deep in the soil of God’s love. Then I will grow. I will spread love. I will be transformed.

Rain
with a borrowed line from Kazim Ali “The sky is a bowl of dark water, rinsing your face.”

Blue Jay sings to the rain,
“See you. See you. Come. Come.”

The sky is a bowl of dark water,
The deck covered in crystal glass.

I step outside in the rain.
Let it rinse my face.

Join the bird in a song
that turns to a sad tune.

No matter. My face is wet
with God’s tears. I am the rain.
–Margaret Simon

Read Full Post »

When You Laugh

Posted in Spiritual Growth, tagged Laughter, On Being, Sister Simone Campbell, spiritual journey, The Servant Song on June 18, 2015| 6 Comments »

Join the Spiritual Thursday round up at Reading, Teaching, Learning.

When you laugh, I’ll laugh with you.
—The Servant Song

I drive the highway south to New Orleans fairly often. There is a bridge overpass that is quite faulty. This used to frustrate me because suddenly my car was bumping up and down jarring me out of whatever thought I was having. Once I was driving this road with my friend Cathy. We were making a day trip to New Orleans to shop for wigs and dresses for the upcoming Berry Queen ball. Already we were in the mood for fun. When the bumping started, I exclaimed my usual ugh!, but when I looked over at Cathy, she was laughing and exaggerating the up and down movement. She says with glee, “I love this bridge!”

My attitude changed totally and ever since, I look forward to the bridge. I remember the fun day we had, the laughter in Cathy’s voice, and the memory of shared joy.

Laughter is like that. Laughter can change a moment of fear and frustration into one of joy and delight. I believe God is all about transforming moments into joy.

Sunset reflection

Today I am at the lake to celebrate my mother’s birthday. My sister and her children are here. There will be lots of talking and sharing and laughing.

On my way here, I listened to a podcast called On Being. The guest was Sister Simone Campbell. You can listen to it here. One of the writing exercises I like to do is turn my notes into a poem. Here is a found poem from Sister Simone.

Walk willing.
Open hands
for the treasure
to hold, not grasp,
willing to share.
Open heart
ready to be broken
by his story,
forever changed.
Make me one part
of the one body
that Paul speaks of.
Wake me up
to do the thing
I am able to do.

One of my favorite folk hymns is The Servant Song. This song expresses the community of Christ and helps me to remember how to be fully present for others on this spiritual journey.