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Why do we do this to ourselves? Put yourself out there and get knocked down? What for?
I am asking myself over and over why I do this writing thing? Sometimes the struggle gets too hard, and I want to quit.
I recently entered a contest. I took the plunge and sent my latest middle-grade novel out into the world. I felt good about it. I felt ready. Now, I feel regret and shame. Stupid.
My writing partner called me yesterday while she was driving home from the beach. She chose to spend time on her vacation to comfort me. “You are a great writer. Don’t let this stop you.”
Then she sent me an email she had gotten in response to her submission. Practically word for the word the same email I had received. How can someone honestly write the exact same feedback on two totally different pieces?
Instead of feeling relieved, I felt more confused. What is the point?
Everyday I guide my students to be better and better readers and writers. I would never consider giving each of them the exact same response. And yet, I ask them to “stay in the struggle.” I need to ask myself to do the same.
I’ll stay in it. For now. With the help of a strong writing community. With the help of friends like Melanie. She writes about this same thing here. Her reflection is different, of course, because we are different writers. We don’t deserve the same response. And neither do our students.
Ack- you are right- our student writers deserve individualized responses- that is the joy and the pain of conferences- it is individual and in the moment and real. You are without a doubt a writer- keep on keeping on!
How horrible to receive such canned response. I read Melanie’s post as well and was struck by how much support you both have – with each other and the wider community. Keep writing for sure. You deserve to be appreciated!
Putting yourself out there is what makes you the wonderful writing teacher that you are! Stay strong and keep going. I hope whoever wrote the response to you reads this post. You deserve the respect warranted from the hard work of writing.
I’m so glad to have you in my writing community, Margaret. We have to encourage our students to develop writing relationships and support groups, as we know how much courage and resilience they give us!
You have no idea the impact you make Margaret. For your students and your writing community. Thank you, thank you for being a model not only as a writer but as a person. You do deserve so much more. I know in time it will come.
Julieanne
Margaret, I’m sorry to hear you received a rejection, and it sounds like it wasn’t a very thoughtful one. Keep writing. You are the ultimate, most authentic model for your students. They are very lucky to have you.
Margaret, you know the old saying “that’s why there is chocolate and vanilla”. You just sent in the wrong flavor. Anyone who send out the same rejection and writing suggestion to all participants doesn’t deserve your attention.
Well, no wonder you are upset – you sent out into the world something you had worked hard on, cared deeply about, and trusted that it would be received with respect. This says more about the quality of those conducting the “contest” than it does about your writing. You keep writing, my friend – you’ll show ’em, girl!
Margaret, shame and regret are the last emotions you should feel about wanting to share Blessen with the world. I’m so sorry that you and Melanie had this experience, but you can’t give up. You are a wonderful writer and somewhere there is an editor who will recognize your gift and help you nurture it.
Thanks, Catherine. I am not giving up. I have sent out three queries since Sunday and received one rejection. I’m determined to keep at it. My trusted writing group will see me through.