On the Sunday evening before Martin Luther King, Jr. Monday, Jeff and I were going dancing. Our favorite band was playing, and the next day was a holiday. You know what that means, no early bedtime. We talked about a conversation he had with a friend who was complaining about having to drive his young children here and there. Jeff told him, “One day you will miss these days.”
I responded, “That’s what I think about dancing. One day, we will miss this.”
Then this happened:
The next day without school I had time to go to an exercise class. Not 5 minutes into the class, I had an accident. The exercise ball flew out from under me, and I fell hard on my tailbone. I know I just heard all of you gasp, “Ouch!”
So it’s cracked or bruised. Either way, my doctor said it would take 3 weeks to heal. The pain was unbelievable, but in my mind I thought I would only have to take one day off. Yeah, right.
I did try to teach half a day on Wednesday and another half day on Thursday, but by Thursday afternoon, I was consigned to the sofa with a heating pad.
On Monday, I tried again and made it through until noon. Did you know that when you try really hard to endure pain, the pain doesn’t give in? In fact, it turns into a nasty monster making concentration and even eating difficult.
I am having a hard time curbing my anger about this. Friends comfort me with words of encouragement.
“What can I do?”
“Give it time.”
“Accidents happen.”
Even Thich Nhat Hanh has good advice. It will get better. I know this.
But sometimes I am impatient. I want to dance. I want to go for a walk with my dog. I want to drive, goddammit.
I told a writing partner that I wouldn’t be writing about this because I didn’t want to be whiney. She sent me this message, “That’s what Slice of Life is about. What your experience is right now. It takes courage to write when things are not going well. Others will learn from you.”
So here I am, ugly and bruised, sitting on my heating pad, in all honesty, mad at the world. But at the same time, I am finding time to read, to listen to my favorite Pandora station, to watch the light change on the bayou, and to write. Write true. Write from the heart. Be present. I’m here.
Oh, I do love this. You wrote from the heart, you were present, and you are brave. Let the quick-healing begin!
Thanks for your encouragement to write about it. I feel very well loved today.
Oh boo! That’s terrible! You definitely deserve to whine!! I hope you feel better SOON!
Margaret, I have been thinking of you since you told me that you fell. Pain is an ugly monster that rears its head and does not quit so you are in my prayers for quick healing. It is difficult to be totally present when pain is around so writing becomes a cathartic way to release some of the anger. Your post enlightened me about anger. It is real. It is nasty but it a step needed to release the frustration. I loved this look at real life and how there are a range of emotions. Stay in His presence.
Do not love your pain, but do love your voice in this piece. You are right, this is real, slice of life moment writing.
You are awesome! So proud of you for sharing the truth, even when the truth hurts, I mean your body hurts!! Hang in there lady!!!
Sorry about the accident and the pain. Glad you shared, though. And you ended up with some positives, so I wouldn’t classify it as whining…more like telling the truth of the matter.
Margaret,
Beautiful slice. Perfect. This slice is evidence of that silver lining. Things will get better. In the meantime, consider this a gift to your writing life.
I had to spend an entire summer flat on my back suffering a slipped disk. I read a lot, wrote, wrote letters, essays, poems, sad stories, and learned a lot. My poetry got a tad better, but most of all I learned patience. I now have arthritis in the same spot and have to take days off, always the ones I most want to do something but I learned. You do what you have to do. I can’t make things the way I want them, I have to take life as it comes.
It is so annoying when our bodies don’t cooperate. Sorry about the arthritis. I had a disk removed about 20 years ago. Now that pain was much worse than this one. And I had small children then. Thanks for commenting.
Praying for a quick (or quicker) recovery for you, my friend!! I have tears in my eyes because I have some ugly thoughts that I wasn’t brave enough to blog about. You aren’t whiny at all, you are honest and authentic and you inspire me. Maybe I’ll work on my “ugly thought” post again. Sending LOVE and HEALING to you, Margaret!
Sometimes it is so hard to write about the not so pretty things in life. I do feel better and certainly feel well loved. Thanks!
Oh I am so sorry. That stinks. Your friend’s advice about writing even when things aren’t going well- I think that is what I do. And I always feel guilty about it. But sometimes getting it out and down on paper is a step towards seeing the silver lining and being ready to embrace the next good thing that comes along too. Good luck with your healing.
I’m glad you wrote too, Margaret, Ugh, a simple move & change happens. Hoping the healing comes quickly so you can go dancing again. Hugs for this day of reading and writing and feeling better because all of us care.
This. This is what I love. This gave me chills: “I am finding time to read, to listen to my favorite Pandora station, to watch the light change on the bayou, and to write. Write true. Write from the heart. Be present. I’m here.” It’s annoying when people tell you this, but this hurt gave you the gift of solitude and slowed time. Love you!
I know one day I will miss lying on the sofa with Charlie, just like I am missing dancing.
Sometimes it IS painful to be PRESENT! Oh, I do wish you a speedy recovery and making time to pray BOLDLY right now for just that!
So sit upon your heating pad throne and survey the world… you are still master of your pen! (oh, I mean the writing instrument…not like you are in a pen…don’t think of it THAT way!)
Ouch! Oh so sorry. But, take the pain meds. Honest, there is no reason to be in pain. Thanks for this beautiful post. Enjoy the time you are getting to spent with you.
So sorry but do take time and rest and let it heal! I tried to push through with a broken wrist a year ago. It took twice as long to heal. I just stop and enjoy the time to read and watch the world slide by you will be dancing soon enough!
Take it easy, Margaret. I cracked my tailbone falling down the stairs many years ago. My children are still laughing about the time “Mom broke her butt.”
Yikes. How long did it take to heal? This is slower than I had hoped.
Ouch! I am sure you did not intend for being present to look like this! Here’s to quick healing.
This is honest, from the heart writing. Your last lines…”Write true. Write from the heart. Be present. I’m here.” are powerful. I hope you heal quickly, but be patient with yourself.
Margaret, I’m so sorry! I’ve bruised my tailbone before and it is NOT fun. I hope you feel better quickly and can get back to dancing:)
Margaret, you have a wise friend.
I’m glad you wrote. We don’t just want the pretty stories, we want them all.
I hope you are healing a bit more each day. I had a similar injury once, and I remember it was very, very painful. Wishing you a speedy recovery.
Oh, Margaret, how I felt this pain, impatience, anger! You shared the moment, and all the emotion that accompanied it. This is the power and beauty of writing. Thank you for sharing, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I wish you well. I thank you for your words.
I love this! I have had several rough days at work recently and realllly didn’t feel like writing today, but I eventually sucked it up and wrote anyway… and then I felt so good! Writing on the not-so-good days is real writing! 🙂
Wishing you speedy recovery, Margaret! When I bruised my tailbone several years ago, one of the best things I did was buy a square piece of upholstery foam which I put in a pillowcase and took with me everywhere. It especially helped in the car and would be invaluable in the classroom, I would think.
This is the best advice yet! I have a donut, but it’s blow up plastic and not very comfortable. I’ve been taking my heating pad with me. That is addictive. But the foam idea is perfect. I think I actually have some in a closet somewhere.
Be well, my friend, and heal quick.
Kevin