Years ago I took the Myers-Briggs test for personality analysis. It did not tell me anything I didn’t already know internally. I am an introvert. I have fought against this part of myself all my life. I’ve tried to attend the party, the parade, the picnic, but I never really understood why I would leave exhausted.
Now that I’m in my 50’s it’s time to realize that my basic personality is not going to change. It’s time to embrace the introvert in me. On Facebook this morning, someone posted this article. The article explained that, as an introvert, I have different needs. That I may feel like I have to hide those needs. Nail on head! Duh! How long have I been fighting against my own “needs”?
As the time gets nearer to spring break, my mind is revolting. I am craving time alone. Time alone is not only a luxury, however, it is one of my basic needs. I need to walk alone in the woods. I need to sit with a book and read. I need to watch the sunset.
Another of the 12 points listed that resonated with me was #8: A deeper purpose to their work.
I attended the regional SCBWI conference on Saturday. This morning I am trying to process why the business of finding an agent and marketing your work is unsettling to me. Why did that particular presentation leave me feeling defeated and hopeless? Because I need a deeper purpose for my work. That’s it.
When one of the presenters asked us to write down a purpose statement about why we write for children, I wrote, Children fill my world every day. I love being with them. I love watching them grow into who they are meant to be. I want to be a part of their world. I can be there with my words.
This post is one of those writing-to-discover-what-you-think posts. Maybe that needs to be added to the list of needs for the introvert. Writing is a way to clear the cobwebs to find the root of my thinking. Today, that root is being an introvert.
Introverts are not wrong.
We are different.
Embrace this difference.
Be confident in who you are.
I am sending this message to myself today and any other introverts out there.
I’m OK. You’re OK.
I love this! I needed to hear that today. I think sometimes, as introverts, we get the message of “if you don’t draw energy and happiness from being around other people, you’re antisocial and there is something inherently wrong with you”. I am completely with you- alone time is something I’ve always needed. It allows me to hit the reset button on my soul so that next time I’m around others, I am gracious and kind instead of antsy and fidgety. Great read. You are heard, you are valued, you are appreciated- introverted bits and all 🙂
Yes, yes, yes! I appreciate this so much. Teaching has become more and more exhausting as I get older and lean more into being half introvert. I recently took the Meyers-Briggs, too. I was shocked to see how much of an introvert I am. It is almost half.
This is so great–
“Introverts are not wrong.
We are different.
Embrace this difference.
Be confident in who you are.”
As an extrovert, I appreciate introverts, and lately, I’m even finding some of the traits typically associated with introverts are now true about me!
I’m an introvert, as well, but grew up performing in music and theater productions at school, college, and later professionally (to a small extent). People were always so confused as to how I can sing for a crowd of people but couldn’t speak up in a small group of people, or wouldn’t want to go to a party full of stranger. I love teaching, but it is the most exhausting thing, since I have such contact with people all day. The time goes fast, and I have a purpose, but I definitely have to regroup each night with my pup. I’ve made my peace with it.
I think that writing exercise will be great for you! I found when I switched my career from performing to education, I became much less shy and afraid to speak up because I had a purpose and felt what I did was important. I think that’s the key: if you think you can add something new or what you do is going to help people, then you can overcome the reticence to promote yourself. Good luck!
Thank you so much for your comment. I agree about teaching so the same may be true about writing. If I keep my purpose in mind, I can do this. Thanks!
I love this reflective piece, Margaret. I’ve always been an introvert and find that I need time alone more than ever. Since my husband works mostly from home, finding that time can be challenging. I think that’s why I cherish my early morning writing hours. I love your purpose statement about why you write for children.
I am finding your blog so sustaining every day this month, Margaret. I love the article you shared. I think #1 (time to unwind) is why I love my 60-mile commute. It’s exactly the amount of time I need to unwind. There is virtually no traffic, so I can zone out and relax more or less, and I’m driving over such incredibly beautiful country. By the time I get home, I’m ready for the evening. I have also pushed myself to be more extroverted and have taken a long time to realize that I’m actually ok the way I am. It’s ok to say no to socializing after work, ok to skip the parades and picnics.
But that said I can sit next to you at any party and have a great time. We introverts love a deep conversation with a close friend. Thanks for your comments that sustain me.
Your reflection about being an introvert shows that you know who you are and what you need, this is valuable when taking care of yourself. This was an interesting article. i wonder whether you have read Susan Cain’s “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.” I found it very insightful.
This is very interesting. I would call myself an introvert, and I married an introvert, which results in very quiet moments of no conversation. We are both ok with that. I’m curious as to how your SCBWI conference went.
Thank you for sharing from your perspective. We are all OK!
Yes! I’m not exactly an introvert – but I’m not 100% an extrovert either. (I flip and flop on the Myers-Briggs – sigh.) I, too, thought of the book Quiet as I read your post. Even as a middle-grounder, I found it interesting and empowering. Also, I love your reasons for writing children’s books: “Children fill my world every day. I love being with them. I love watching them grow into who they are meant to be. I want to be a part of their world. I can be there with my words.” Somehow that seems much nicer than finding an agent. I have not tried very hard to be published, but the thought of it is exhausting. I once decided that I would prefer to be “discovered” and then, more recently, decided that I could just squirrel away poems like Emily Dickinson and be content to be honored when I am dead. (heeheehee) May you have bundles of quiet time during your Spring Break – and may you continue to honour your own nature.
I am also a 100% introvert on the Myers-Briggs test. I can completely relate to your post today. It’s so hard for my husband, who is a through-and-through extrovert. Talking to people gives him energy. For me, it’s draining. Finding your purpose is so great! We as teachers are always pushing our students to overcome their challenges. I’m always trying to come out of my introvert shell, but it’s tough!
I’m an Introvert also – I think it’s why I love to write! So much of what you say here hits home with me.
I’m an introvert I love this post. It resonated with me. Thank you for sharing.
I looked for you at the conference to talk further. Was hard to talk in the Ladies room! I wanted to tell you more about how much I appreciate your blog posts when I can sneak in some free time to read them. I am sorry you came away feeling defeated and hopeless. Many of us at the conference talked about being introverts. I wish you have been in our conversation because your insightful comments would have had many listeners. Sorry we missed having more time to talk.
Oh, a great post! I am an introvert too. The weird thing is that I am outgoing, but I really need to recharge by myself. I get incredibly crabby if I don’t get this time. Have you read the book Quiet?
I’ve heard about it but haven’t read it yet. I was afraid it wouldn’t be encouraging.
I have only read pieces of it, but I think that it is negative at all
This post was very enlightening, Margaret. As someone who I think some view as an extrovert, the older I get, the more I see myself as an introvert. The article you shared was especially helpful, and I found myself connecting to many of their points. Now I know why we became fast friends! Yes, “I’m OK. You’re OK.”
Margaret,
Above all else, be true to yourself! You have so much wisdom and it’s ok to share it 1:1 or in very small groups! 🙂
As a fellow introvert, I loved hearing this! Go, you! Get some important and sanity sustaining alone time during spring break.
I love this! You have expressed everything so perfectly, that I just want to keep saying “Yeah, what she said! What she said!” We ARE okay, aren’t we? 🙂 ~JudyK
I love reading everything you write. What a gift you have.
Thanks Amy. That means a lot. I hope your back is recovering.